Alice Miller, child abuse and mistreatment

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Teaching to hate
Friday December 08, 2006

Dear Alice Miller

Thank you for the answer… I did not expected you to answer my bewildered mail writing in confusion.
"AM: Your mail is not silly, not at all. Don't take antidepressants; try to take seriously your feelings and to understand them." I really try, but I am not a strong person. I asked my oldest brother to read one of your books, and we talked about our parents. He convinced me that my feelings about our parents were right, but he still denies our childhood. Sometimes I wish I didn’t read your books, but I do. How can I live with all the others people blindness? I believe what I feel, but it pains me what I see other people do to each other. I want to tell them what I see. Make a different, but I can’t. I thought your book would open my brother’s eyes about himself and our parents, but he still uses corporal punishment, and he has 2 children. I despite how he treats them, but I can force him to take my opinion about corporal punishment. Sometimes I want to scream it all out. I really want to forget my feelings about what I see, but I can’t. That’s trouble me a lot, and believe that’s why I write to you. I feel alone with my opinion on this subject. Sometimes I really believe I am crazy. I also ask my mother to read one of your books. She read it, but she also denied the message of your books. Why can’t they see what I can? How can he and other people do it to their children? I remember once my father spanked me. I hated him for that. My opinion is that corporal punishment treats us to hate. Not to be better persons.

Thank you for your answer. You don’t know how much it means It feels good to express my thought. I haven’t told my psychologist about this. I don’t expect him to understand how much it means to me. The few people I have tried to talk with could not help me. I have a low expectation for understanding.
thank you and sorry a stupid mail again. R.H.H

AM: You write: "My opinion is that corporal punishment treats us to hate. Not to be better persons." You are absolutely right, as in most statements that you made. Why do you call yourself stupid? Obviously your family is stupid and you refuse to see this, you prefer not to acknowledge it. But it is you yourself who will have to pay the price for this lie. Do you want to pay it?

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