Alice Miller, child abuse and mistreatment

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The Truth Will Set You Free
Sunday October 01, 2006

Please pass along my gratitude to Alice Miller for her book which I have just finished reading and making notes on....

I am a 51 year old adult adoptee who found an "enlightened witness" at 48 and finally began to dialogue accumulated incidents of disenfranchised grief. I am beginning to understand and only beginning to understand the impact of my childhood. Denied a nurturing environment and the encouragement to talk out my feelings, I suppressed my feelings resulting in loss of immunity and other illnesses. Since beginning to talk about these buried experiences and feelings, I find myself with more energy and able to work part-time consistently for almost two years ...such a liberating feeling ....after nearly a decade of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.

Struggling to write my story for publication, I find myself paralyzed by the fear of speaking my own truth ....my own two sons have been sexually abused while in the care of community agencies and the lack of bereavement support for this type of loss has traumatized us all ...no one seems to care about the impact on us all ....

Overcoming my own emotional blindness at this late date means that I can make more educated choices for myself and begin to articulate these things.

I hope to read your other books Dr. Miller and thank you so much for caring enough to educate others. My eldest son was raped by staff at a treatment centre and has been suicidally depressed for years....it has been very difficult for him to trust in other professionals ...people tell him what his problem is and he argues, "A door in my head has been opened and no one has taught me how to resolve these things. Either teach me how to resolve them or teach me how to close the door. I can't live in society like I am right now. I can't cope. I don't want to be here." This is very difficult for me to hear as a parent. I trusted this institution and its staff and their expertise with children ...my son's innocence was taken forcefully from him .....he is 28 and has not been able to find or maintain employment for nearly six years since disclosing these things.....

Your book means more than you will ever know. The truth will set us free ...I hope someday to have the courage to write our story and its impact on us all. Your words comforted me to know that the new awareness I am developing is indeed the truth.

Gratefully yours, H. W.

AM: Thank you for your letter. You write: "Since beginning to talk about these buried experiences and feelings, I find myself with more energy and able to work part-time consistently for almost two years ...such a liberating feeling ....after nearly a decade of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome". The fatigue syndrome appears if you try to suppress what you absolutely need to say but are blocked because you are afraid of being punished if you try to speak out. However, the energies will come back, you feel then that it is worthwhile to live, once you can live with your own truth. I hope that my other books, esp. "The Body Never Lies" will encourage you to fight against the scandalous practice of the "treatment" centers. And fighting against the lies can give you back the energies you have lost while staying silent. I wish you the courage you need to try again and again.

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