Alice Miller, child abuse and mistreatment

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Benign abuse?
Friday September 08, 2006

Hello Ms. Miller,

I will keep this brief for there is so much to relate and, on so many levels, this is primarily a note to say thank you for your expression, insight, caring and, obviously, your love for humanity!

At age 59, I am a male who has been on a path of discovery for many years. Upon John Bradshaw's reference to your works on his tape "The Price of Nice"I chose to buy "The Truth Will Set You Free"....only yesterday.

. Your insights have given me great support in my own challenging life. I have chosen to share this book with my children of 23 and 20, both girls. Why? Because I wish for them to know about the mysteries that were created in their lives by my actions as their parent!
I, myself suffered what I term "benign" abuse at the age of one year...medical advice to tape my arms to my sides at night to prevent my scratching the exzema on my face. Coupled with Swiss-German child rearing attitudes prevelent in my family....this is a reference to the "attitude" my father was raised with....cool, distant discipline with no praise and no acknowledgement. My mother also, and she had 5 kids and was very aloof much of the time....which, to me, indicates a sequestered life of silent suffering.
Rather than continue with details, meaningful but, not necessary for this discussion, I wish to ,again, say thank you.
I am in process. Life is a process that we all are gifted with in our seeking of personal truth. Support from, as you say : Enlightened Witnesses, is out there but, they may be very rare in relation to the status quo attitude that is evident world wide and, obviously to me, very evident in our present political world that seems to usurpe our personal rights to be.
So, thank you for being one of those people who are willing to expose yourself to the opposite attitude that we all know as questionable.
Your being is an example of the strengths we all have yet, so few of us are able to believe.

Yours, with great respect, R. D.

AM: Thank you for your letter. You write: "So many ‘puzzle’ pieces continue to fall into place for me." I am glad for you. And if you are in trouble again try to look closer at the "benign" abuse you suffered and try to imagine how you felt as a baby with bound arms to prevent your scratching of the eczema on your face. And you may then ask yourself why you suffered from eczema so young. There are so many kinds of torture for a small kid that we adults consider as being benign. Good luck!

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