Alice Miller, child abuse and mistreatment

APRIL 2010

MARCH 2010

FEBRUARY 2010

JANUARY 2010

DECEMBER 2009

NOVEMBER 2009

OCTOBER 2009

SEPTEMBER 2009

AUGUST 2009

JULY 2009

JUNE 2009

MAY 2009

APRIL 2009

MARCH 2009

FEBRUARY 2009

JANUARY 2009

DECEMBER 2008

NOVEMBER 2008

OCTOBER 2008

SEPTEMBER 2008

AUGUST 2008

JULY 2008

JUNE 2008

MAY 2008

APRIL 2008

MARCH 2008

FEBRUARY 2008

JANUARY 2008

DECEMBER 2007

NOVEMBER 2007

OCTOBER 2007

SEPTEMBER 2007

AUGUST 2007

JULY 2007

JUNE 2007

MAY 2007

APRIL 2007

MARCH 2007

FEBRUARY 2007

JANUARY 2007

DECEMBER 2006

NOVEMBER 2006

OCTOBER 2006

SEPTEMBER 2006

AUGUST 2006

JULY 2006

JUNE 2006

MAY 2006

APRIL 2006

MARCH 2006

FEBRUARY 2006

JANUARY 2006

DECEMBER 2005

NOVEMBER 2005

OCTOBER 2005

SEPTEMBER 2005

AUGUST 2005

JULY 2005

What is hatred?
Thursday August 31, 2006

Hello,
I just wanted to say that I am a fan of your work, especially 'What is Hatred?," for it is so relevant to my life. I cannot fully explain the frustration I feel when I come across self-help books-and counselors-that want to have us believe that we should not feel anger. That if we only chose to think about it a different way, we would feel less angry.
How on earth else is one supposed to look some of life's situations, such as mine, in which I developed a spanking fetish at the age of four and suffers from severe encopresis, both of which are stigmatized illnesses for which the blame is placed on the victim? (Encopresis is a bowel disorder, which, in its later stages, like mine, is characterised by episodes of persistent leaking of the contents of the bowels and massive, paralyzing cramps.)
The baby was born a pervert. That girl soils herself because she simply isn't paying attention. Do they expect me to be happy about these false accusations by adults who have power over me, and have the power to hurt me if I protest and try to protect myself from unwarranted punishment? They talk patronizingly, or in a shaming tone of voice, at you, if you are angry and cannot overcome it.
Still speaking of hatred, I believe that a little fire, or anger, is an essential ingredient to fighting for what is best for you, or for others, or for what it right. It drives you even when you are down. And I must say, that whenever I tell the story of my spanking fetish, I cannot help but hate those people that deride me, and arrogantly and ignorantly continue to spank their children, believing that this could never happen to them. I hate those people who have little knowledge on any subject but form opinions on that subject anyway, sometimes even helping make policy decisions that affect millions of lives, based on nothing at all. I think it is my anger that keeps me going in the face of such derision. I want to do whatever it takes to drive my point home, and you cannt to that with a weak heart.
Again, I cannot thank you enough for writing what you write, especially that one piece. For a long time, I could find no one who understood that ridding onself of anger is not that easy! Were it that easy, everyone would do it in a flash, but it does not work that way, and for a reason!

My best,
A. H.

AM: You write: "I want to do whatever it takes to drive my point home, and you cannot do that with a weak heart." You are right; the anger is often our protector from blindness, cowardice, cooperating with cruelty. Your illness is a language. Can it be that it wants to make you aware that your anger toward your parents is justified and should not be withhold?

Top