Alice Miller, child abuse and mistreatment

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Expectations
Friday August 18, 2006

Hi Dr. Miller:

In 1992, at 32 years of age, I divorced and subsequently became very sick. At the time, I committed to discovering my True Self. I had no idea what was to come.... I trusted that the energy would guide me to the proper tools and so it did. I have recently come upon your books "the Drama of the Gifted Child", "The Body Never Lies", "Thou Shalt Not Be Aware", "Banished Knowledge", "For Your Own Good", "The Truth Will Set You Free" and "Paths of Life".

I want to thank you for the courage you have shown in putting into writing words that set me and many others free. Death was creeping up on me and I did not know why until I read your books. Without your words, I know my body would have soon let go as my brother's did at 43 years of age... not waking up one morning. I now understand why I felt so numb at the time.... Needless to say, I feel a lot of anger.... I think he was the worst one off being the first child and the only boy... Our biological mom died with cancer at 29 years of age. My dad (32 at the time) remarried another disconnected woman (she was only 19 years of age) and I soon became their parent around 11 years of age.....

Since I have read your books, it has become clear that the only way that we are going to get out of this cycle, is to not forgive what has happened to us and also, not feel sorry for our parents. I am very open with my son and I take full responsibility for what has happened to him since his birth... nothing close to what I went trhough but boy, have I worked hard to reprogram... nonetheless, I have created some wounds and I TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR IT and I tell my son also. I therefore expect my own parents to do the same: nothing more, nothing less.... there is no time for pity... the planet is self-destructing and we must all take responsibility for our role in this.... as for me, my own body and psych cannot take any more abuse and undermining behaviour from them.... that is it!!!

Aside from following Stettbacher's four steps, do you have any advice (i.e. training) to help in my being a very good enlightened witness. By simply having reach the level of awareness that I have reached, I already feel I have a lot to offer...

Your guidance would be much appreciated!!

Thanks again!! J.

AM: Thank you for your letter. I no longer recommend Stettbacher (since 1994).
You write in your letter that now you take the full responsibility for your actions towards your son and you add: "I therefore expect my own parents to do the same: nothing more, nothing less." I think that as long as you still expect this or anything else from your parents, you are not free from them. But one day you will become free because you want it and you have understood very much already. I wish you the insight you need to no longer wait for your parents to change.

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