Alice Miller, child abuse and mistreatment

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Hope amidst hopelessness?
Monday July 03, 2006

dear alice,

i am child-like. i am not dead inside. i grew up with your books, with the ourchildhood list, with your voice as my spirit's companion.

is growing up a turn from child to "adult"? or is it that the child-ness remains with us, while we also try to find and internalize the voice of enlightened witnessing for children and the child-ness in all human beings?
what does growing up really mean?

as we struggle to survive and grow in a world full of poisonous pedagogy, we can make space for spontaneous feelings and caring response, we can work for child advocacy and social change, and continue to resist and rebel against the hurtful status quo of our world.

but even when we escape childhood in terms of chronological age, it feels like we still need hypervigilance to protect our vulnerability and fragileness because this world is made up of so many hurt beings and such a lack of awareness. sometimes hope seems so rare to find, and my soul cries; i do not force myself to pretend otherwise when i feel this way. i wonder how you sustain so much sensitivity to the child's being, which i feel in your words and colors, amidst a world of so much unknowing and dreadfully powerful and hurtful defenses?

may we continue remembering and witnessing every tear shed, and hope that humanity will not drown in denial.
thank you alice, to the child in you that speaks with us all, and the witness you are that makes way for that voice
-e

AM: Thank you so much for everything you wrote in this letter and I share your hope that you express in your beautiful language: "may we continue remembering and witnessing every tear shed, and hope that humanity will not drown in denial".
Your writing (known to me from ourchildhood.int) shows that it IS eventually possible to become more and more the person we are born to become, the person we were meant to be, if we dare to SEE what was done to us and if we clearly refuse tolerating violation. Even if you can't become the child again, by connecting with her as you do and by condemning the mistreatment without hesitations, excuses etc, your path to grow continues to OPEN. Then you know: never again will you become a victim of such a terrible betrayal like the one you endured from your parents since you DARE to see your parents as they ACTUALLY ARE. We were not mistreated "for our own good" but only for our parents' denial that was pure poison to us and nothing else.
With all my best wishes for your path of discovery.

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