A common misquote
Wednesday July 05, 2006
On the other hand, Alice wrote in one of her books that her life changed when her daughter were born because she treated her daughter differently than her mother treated her. She was responsive to the needs of a young child. I am a bit confused since her earlier statements are that if one is abused they will have no other reference point on how to treat their children.
I find that I am very sensitive to the needs of my child since I didn't have a mother who was sensitive to my needs. Sometimes I almost over compensate for my mother's inattentiveness.
Can Alice Miller answer my question please.
AM: Your "quotation" is not complete and thus not correct. You write: Alice Miller writes in her books that the children who were abused will abuse their own children since they do not know how to be any different." But I have ALWAYS written that this happens ONLY if they stay in denial as adults. If they have the courage to know how they suffered as children, they DO know the difference and will NOT repeat what their parents have done to them. ONLY people who don't know that they suffered cruelty in childhood are prone to repeat what they once endured.