An open letter to A.R.
Wednesday November 02, 2005
An open letter to A.R
AM: Your letter shows that thanks to For Your Own Good you know almost everything you need to understand and to describe the dynamics of a serial crime. Why are you, though, hesitating to do what you want to do and to write down what you have learned? It is even clearly confirmed by every detail of your story. Are you, maybe, waiting for the confirmation of the murderer himself? But he is the last person who can give it to you.
Murderers dont know why they act in the way they do because their feelings are totally blocked. Thus, they have no orientation and no understanding of themselves. This is why they are unable to tell you right away: I go on to kill again and again, to take revange for what has been done to me, for all these numerous mutilations of my integrity, humiliations, attempts to murder me, all mistreatments and soul-murders I once had to endure.
If murderers could speak like that, if they were emotionally, deeply aware of how they became criminals, if they could FEEL THE PAIN ABOUT THEIR DAMMAGED LIFE they would already be unable to kill anybody. It is exactly the REPRESSED rage and pain, the total lack of authentic feelings that drive them to destruction. The same is valid also for tyrants like Hitler and Stalin. The bad seed is not only an excuse for abuse, it reveals the blindness stemming from the own abuse. Consciously experienced feelings, even feelings of extreme rage, never result in crimes.
If you want to understand more about the destructive power of repressed emotions you can read my book Banished Knowledge and Breaking Down The Wall Of Silence. The examples you will find there will give you the background and the evidence of my statement: THERE IS NO OTHER REASON FOR SERIAL CRIMES THAN THE REPRESSION AND DENIAL OF PAIN ENDURED IN AN EXTREMELY CRUEL CHILDHOOD.
Of course, criminality is not the only one way to avoid old pain. There are plenty of others as well: addictions, prostitution, psychic illnesses, war industry etc. The denial of childhood injuries has been shared by the whole society, therapists included. You can easily recognize it everywhere once you succeeded to give up your own denial.