Alice Miller, child abuse and mistreatment

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Harmful non-physical abuse
Wednesday April 26, 2006

dear miss Miller,

I just read your book 'die Revolte des Korpers' (I don't know the english title). I couldn't stop until I reached page 133 (has cost me some sleep), which is the end of the second part. In strugling all of my life, I knew already what you've written down, but never dared to express myself. I was so scared for other persons reactions that I always kept my own feelings inside. For years I've been suffering from chronique fatiqueness. I never accepted (innerly) the reactions of other people saying to me things like 'you'll get over it' or 'if you change your behaviour because we don't like it', ... In my childhood feelings were not accepted. Even now I'm aware that I have a strong urge to supress feelings from other people and myself. I know already it makes me sick and I was already learning.

I'm so glad that I read your book because it gives me the feeling that I'm not on my own. Among other recent developments in my life this is a great help and I intent to do more with it.

This leads to my question: I don't think I'm spanked or otherwise physicially abused. I'm sure that mentally I was 'abused'. It feels exactly the same as the examples you've written on physical things. In your book and articles on the web there is an emphasis on physical abuse. I think for solving my problem it doesn't make a difference. Am I right and do you see the same simularity??

I hope you have the time for a reaction. In any case I'm sure that your work will encourage other people although I can forsee many resistance.
thank you again for putting your insights on paper. It helps me a lot.

greatings,

R D G
the Netherlands

AM: Yes, non-physical abuse can be as harmful as beatings. But it is often less visible. The reason why I write mostly about physical one is because I want to show that even in the most obvious cases of abuse the adult children tend to deny it. So much more if the abuse was hidden.

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