Alice Miller, child abuse and mistreatment

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Hitler and murderous rage
Wednesday March 29, 2006

Dear Alice,
I think that the answer to the questions about Hitler (I also have been fascinated by this since childhood) lies in the fact that at some level we probably understand the fact that the only thing lying between him and people like me,who also endured violent,abusive fathers and indifferent mothers,is what you would call helping witnesses,someone who,in our childhoods showed us that along with the senseless,stupid brutality of our fathers,that there WAS also a thing called love and we were in fact deserving (also) of this.
The hesistancy,I think of most people to consider this lies in the fact that we were at that time totally dependant also on those OTHER people to show us love,without whose kindness and respect might have condemned us to a fate similar to that of HItler΄s.
I have often times considered myself to have saved myself AND the society yet another serial-killer,if neither myself nor anyone else had ever realized my childhood predicament and taken it seriously.Without it nobody has a chance,and I think it is THIS reality which makes people shy away from his(and their own) history.
I mean, Alice I cannot count the number of times I have felt this murderous rage,usually as my introjected father directed at me,and I cringe to think what would have become of me and my life if I had not,with the help of your books,come to understand just how and why I had been at risk to becoming " a monster".
s

AM: You are right: if a person can, thanks to the helping witnesses, to books and to work on his emotions he has done, ACKNOWLEDGE the cruelty and stupidity of his parents, he will not become like them. You need a proof? Here it is: All the monsters known to me, without any exception, dictators, Hitler helpers, serial murderers, have idealized their parents.

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