Alice Miller, child abuse and mistreatment

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Unconscious hatred
Sunday February 05, 2006

From: evanraygrant@webtv.net (Evan)

In the epilogue of The Truth Will Set You Free, p193 hard cover, you
state: "None of us were carried by our mothers as the child of God;" (as
Jesus was.)

Now let me go to your book, The Body Never Lies- Section I, part 2, 2nd
paragraph: "Friedrich von Schiller, one of the greatest Romantic
play-wrights, and writers of the eighteenth century, spent the all
important first three years of his life (my note-the first three years
being now scientifically-as all science, is by observation--proven to be
the formative years)..in the sole company of his loving mother. Under
her care he was able to develop his character and his enormous talents
to the full." Then as the next sentence states one more year before his
despotic father returned home from the wars. To go on: "Despite this,
(my comment-his fathers despotic ways of parenting) Schiller was an
achiever at school, due largely to his intelligence and the
self-assurance he h! ad been able to cultivate in the atmosphere of
emotional security provided by his mother in the first three years of
his life(my comment-plus one more year)". Also he was not separated from
his mother while he was attending school until age 13, at which time his
father sent him to a military academy, then the terrible abuse began
causing a lot of illness. But he broke free and made all those
accomplishments acclaiming freedom of the person, after that.

With what we know now-God being the true self, would you not have to say
that Schiller is an exception to your statement above, that "None of us
were carried by our mothers as the child of God"?

How many others are there that made it only to what is known as the
terrible twos or a little more before being struck down, and held down
by a father and the attitude of the general public. We are the
non-aggressive ones, looking for a place to go.

But the answer is the same, to hasten change, make corporal punishment
against the law, as you have been promoting.

Every day when I come home, from my limited excursions to a restaurant
and coffee shop and find that I am among the products of parental
coercion who do not know there is another way,(I would get no where by
standing up and saying, "You are all wrong." I find that any hint of
that attitude on my part is counter productive.)
...... when I got home last evening.... I got comfort from reading your
account of your childhood and recovery as on page 31, hard cover book,
The body Never Lies.

Hoping to see your answer.

Evan Grant
Kingsville, Ont. Canada

ps- You are always free to publish anything I write, and include my
email address also.

ps- regarding the exchange of views on love with Duncan my thought is
that we should quite using a word like love that can be used to
'support' a perverted attitude. It seems to me that love is the antonym
of hate, both extreme emotions.
Lets instead say that Schiller had an empathic warm-hearted mother, who
knew that her infant needed to feel safe at all times, being especially
vulnerable in the totally helpless state at birth and it is a known that
breast feeding on demand, child-led weaning is a necessary part of the
closeness needed by mother and child for the sake of the child. The
first three years is only the beginning. Protection from tyranny has to
go on into adulthood, (the child needs an empathic like minded father
and husband, also to make it work) and laws in the land to protect the
integrity of all.
Sorry just started to talk about a word or words to replace love a word
that cannot be taken out of context.
ERG

AM: I think that the first years of his life gave Schiller the sensibility he needed to become aware of the stupidity and cruelty of authoritarian behavior. He described this attitude in his dramas again and again. Most people who don't know anything else don't see it; for them this behavior is normal. In some exceptional cases, if love and honesty was experienced in early childhood, cruelty could later be recognized. This was the case of Schiller; he hated cruelty, hypocrisy, perversion but he was unable to consciously hate his own father. The unconscious hatred offended his body; he suffered terribly from corporal pain and had to die already as 46 years old.

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