Message from M.
Saturday October 01, 2005
Dearest Alice Miller
I will like to, first thank you for your books and all you have wrote about childhood. I am in therapy and i talk about your books with my therapist. He follow me in my at the moment, no endning sadness about my childhood.
I cannot forgive my parents for all the damage they did to me, it is to big, I know that they were victims too, as children. But I have been taken my childhood I was like an adult as a child, because it was the only way to survive the danger to live in my family. For me is like a crime. They killed the litle girl in me and I havent had a contact with her untill now.
How can I forgive? I am criying about this litle girl who get lost in life. I am 61 years old and I am determinated to continue my therapy because this litle girl has began to speak.
Its the forgivness a part of the healing? must I forgive to be free some day? I would be so happy if you kan answer this.
My first language is spanish and I am not very good in english. I hope you understand my letter and I dont mind at all that you answer me in your webb page. I am often there.
AM: No, you must NOT forgive, I wrote much about this issue in my latest book that will come out very soon in Spain. You will also find many articles on my website that explain why I think that forgiveness is rather blocking than supporting the process of healing. The quicker you stop to protect and to understand your parents the quicker you will stop to blame yourself and the better you will be able to understand the suffering of the child you were.