Alice Miller, child abuse and mistreatment

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A letter to Alice Miller
Thursday September 15, 2005

Dearest Alice Miller:

You have wrote above me. I recognized all your descriptions you do
about
childhood. I am in therapy and your books help me very much to give to
my
therapist the orientation I need. He is very humble and wise and take
your
thougths very seriously and he has become very much my witness. I am
crying
my own childhood and my daugthers because I realized that I have repeat
in
many ways the same pattern with them. The difference is that I am aware
of
this and I legitimate also all the suffer I have done to them. And we
can
talk about this at lease with 2 of them.

It was very dangerous to be a litle girl with my parents, so very early
I
became an "adult" because it was the only way to survive my childhood.
I
lost all contact with the feelings the litle girl in me has. Thanks
therapy
I have found this girl inside of me and she has tell me the "real
story"
about my parents. I have not only been sexually abused of my father and
an
uncle at age of eigth and eleven, but I am sure that my mother, knew
about
this and let this happened.
I cant forgive them, is the forgivness a part of the healing? I
understand
with my intellect my parents history but I cant forgive them all this
years
in the darkness, in deppresions. I am 61 years old. I have since I was
30
years old looked after a good therapist. Your books gave the total
security
that you are by mi side. and my therapist learns throu your books. I
would
be very happy if you can answer my questions. My first language is
spanish
and I have no problem to read and speak english. I hope you understand
me
I am very often visiting your website and I hope you kan be able to
answer
my letter under the name Miriam.
Miriam

A.M.: It is the old, wrong and confusing lesson that forgiveness helps healing the wounds. Actually, it hinders the process of recovery, of becoming authentic. Reading my last book “The Body Never Lies” will help you to understand why. The book may be already available in Spanish (Tousquets). Read also the last articles and interviews concerning therapy and forgiveness on my web site. I am glad that your therapist can be your enlightened witness and that you can benefit if this.

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