Alice Miller, child abuse and mistreatment

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permission to use my texts
Saturday March 06, 2010




Hello, Mam. My name is Julia. I live in Florida, USA. I am a survivor of abuse and have made tremendous growth in my personal dealings with my pain. I have explored and am currently discovering all the reasons for my anxiety and posttraumatic stress disorder. My personal journey through my toxic childhood has lead me to become an enlightended witness to others and I have been in service to the world for the last 14 years as a counselor. I have a Masters in Education and a Bachelors in Criminal Justice with a minor in Sociology, all because I set out to prove to myself that my family was wrong about me when they beat me, neglected me and labeled me stupid. My mother's brother took perverse pleasure in chasing my cousins and me with a belt and beating us mercilessly. I grew up with my father who hugged me, but at 3 years old, he and my mother divorced. The only safe person in my world abandoned me. My brother came along and my mother lavished attention on him and pushed me to the side. I was punished for my father's sins. My mother's side of the family turned on me and I became a "Spanish Cinderella." I was forced into child labor, cleaning, cooking, laundry and taking care of my brother and my three cousins. When I was done cooking the evening meal, I served the whole family, consisting of my mother, my brother, my uncle, my aunt, and whoever they had over as guests. Then, I had to go and eat my lonely meal of ham croquettes and rice while everyone else enjoyed the delicious food I was forced to cook for them. Til this day, I refuse to eat ham croquettes. I remember going to school with holes in my socks and being hungry all the time. In an effort to get rid of the burden of housing us, my aunt introduced my mother to a friend and married her off. Unfortunately for me, he turned out to be a pedophile. I spent the next five years fending him off. When I went into the bathroom, it was not safe for me. He removed all the locks from all the doors in the house and just casually walked right in on me. He gambled my mother's money away and drank himself into rage-aholic fits. That's when he went after my mother to beat her and that's when I started fist fighting a grown man at 10 years of age. I had to learn to sleep with a baseball bat in my bed to keep him from raping me and pulled my mattress into my brother's room to keep him safe as well. I also have a grown son that I spanked occasionally. I unconsciously perpetuated the cycle of violence until I met my husband. At that time, my son was 11 and he spoke to me of your books and became my enlightened witness. I never raised my hand to my son again. Thanks to him, my son stated that he will never spank his children either. So you see, you have touched our lives deeply and the cycle of violence has been broken! I still have stomach problems, anxiety, acid reflux and panic attacks. I can't stand it when people yell, curse or break things around me because it reminds me of my abusive step-father and the horrible delight he took in hurting me and breaking my things. I start shaking uncontrollably and go right back into my past and my abuse. I continue to work on my issues every day and breath deeply and tell myself "I am safe" over and over until I calm myself down from my panic attacks and I stop shaking. I am able to recognize my triggers and remove myself from negative situations whenever possible. However, when I cannot walk away, I do my breathing exercises.

I am now an addiction counselor and work with clients that are dually diagnosed with substance abuse and mental health disorders. I help people that have survived abuse and domestic violence.I I try to make a difference every day. I have obtained licensing from the Florida Certification Board, in the US, as a Certified Addictions Professionally. As of yesterday, I am glad to say I managed to get my second certification as a Certified Mental Health Professional. I worked hard and applied myself dilligently to my certifications and to break the cycle of violence by teaching parenting classes advocating non-violence behavior modification. I am publishing a book called "AT RISK JUVENILES: A Handbook for Parents Facing Possible Gang Involvement and Substance Abuse Concerns." I respectfully request permission to publish your short article "The Roots of Violence are NOT Unkown" and a few short quotes from a couple of your books. I wrote the book in the style of the American Psychological Association and all credits are given to authors and all quotes are exact and not altered in any way. Your books have meant a great deal to me, my son and my husband. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

AM: Of course, you have my permission if my copyright will be respected. Congratulation on your achievement!

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