APRIL 2010
23 INFORMATION.
05 Information.
MARCH 2010
06 Suppressed rage
06 permission to use my texts
FEBRUARY 2010
28 We need time
28 To stop running
18 Without feelings
12 Flyers in English in Youtube
10 The confusing family
JANUARY 2010
28 I want to heal
28 Becoming a counselor.
23 Spontanious painting
20 To find the cause
17 A great relief
17 Dissociation
17 Indifference
12 The enlightened Witness
10 "And now there is no pet anymore".
10 Interviews
05 A story
04 about guilt
04 W need the rage as a compass
04 We can't buy a new family
DECEMBER 2009
24 A daughter kills her mother
20 Letter to my mother
20 becoming artist
20 Scary, yes.
02 Longing for the familly
02 Hitting to teach you a lesson
02 Survived a hell.
NOVEMBER 2009
24 The good start
23 To listen to the body
23 to breath better
17 The consollation of illusions
14 My life
12 Dealing with anger
12 Leaving the silence
06 Biography
03 How to protect children from a teacher?
OCTOBER 2009
31 Reactions to an article on the NYT
29 No university interested in the issue of child abuse
29 About depression
25 Healthy "narcissism"?
25 Working with PTSD
20 No longer in danger
19 the avoided rage
19 Congratulation
19 Exposing the wounds to heal
16 How to feel rage?
16 Alone but not separated from oneself
16 Spanking in Australia
16 How do we chose a partner?
07 Forgiveness
03 To touch the hearts
03 The world must wake up
02 Looking at the own history
02 Yes, we CAN
02 invitations
01 The case Henry Guntrip
SEPTEMBER 2009
24 pretended love
20 What must be done?
14 Where can paedophiles hide best?
10 Where to go with the rage
08 Time to digest
07 Leaving the hell.
02 The husband`s role
01 Panic attacks and talking
AUGUST 2009
29 The mute patient
23 For the sake of the baby
16 The felt anger
13 Consciousness or art?
06 Cancer patients
JULY 2009
21 Spirituality for recovery?
21 The eternal hope?
20 Keeping on trying
18 Hatred behind pity?
18 Alzheimer, Trauma, Repression
15 Is it allowed to feel?
15 The right title
15 Assisting Alzheimer
14 To overcome the denial
11 As adults we don't need the denial.
11 Intellectualisation - the high price of denial
09 The spiritual revolution
07 A symbiotic relationship 2
06 A symbiotic relationship 1
02 TO BE SEEN
01 To give up the dissociation
JUNE 2009
26 The painful longing
23 Why can't religions help to increase awareness?
21 The mother/baby dance
18 The first demonstration for the childrens' rights
17 We repeat when we refuse to believe.
15 A terrible memory
14 Morals
14 The first step
12 The sacred wars
06 Your body will know the answer
04 The pain in the stomach
03 Overcoming the fear
02 The vision of a revolution
02 Why do we repeat what makes us suffer?
MAY 2009
30 a dangerous confusion
30 How to get rid of the rage?
25 Questions
22 Talking!
22 Why are they so surprised?
22 History repeats itself
19 Love your enemy.
06 To keep the secret and become sick
03 Love doesn't hurt
02 A "miracle"?
APRIL 2009
30 The greatest reward
30 Together with the boy
28 The child:s violence 2
27 The child's violence
24 12 steps and making amends
22 Love and Hate
19 In the cage
19 Depression and safe-hate
19 What do I owe to myself?
18 Regaining vitality
15 Healing hatred?
14 Ful determination
14 From South-Korea
14 When is it enough?
08 The respect for yourself
07 Compassion for abusing parents
04 empathy OR discipline
MARCH 2009
30 Born to missionary parents.
29 No child deserves humiliation
29 dangerous "therapies"
19 Information
18 Hypnose
17 Biographical research
16 Understanding the torturer doesn't help
16 Nasty behavior or pain
15 The price for protecting the Mothers
14 Feminism
09 How to find a therapist who answers my questions.
09 What must parents do?
08 I am 19 year old...
06 Panic attacks
02 A seminar in Rome
FEBRUARY 2009
25 analysing paintigs
25 enjoying on's own painting
24 Translations into Serbian
24 Therapies in Texas?
21 interesting research
20 looking for a therapist
19 Information on the Myspace page
17 The memory
16 Transference
14 Aggression out of denial
13 We can leave the pattern
07 The past and the present parents
06 What you really need
04 a question?
JANUARY 2009
24 The liberating rage
24 The sick good children
24 We can't change the past
24 Leaving the denial
02 painful memories
01 We all are the crew
DECEMBER 2008
20 prenatal life
18 The prison of lies.
18 The silent adults
15 articles
13 obedient children
10 two articles
05 on daring to doubt
04 to stop the chain
04 illusions
02 the 8 year old boy
02 not easy
02 the dangerous obsession
01 psychiatric treatment today
01 Becoming free
01 your research
01 religions
01 looking for a therapist
NOVEMBER 2008
25 Repairing patients
24 more information
18 copyright
18 A cry from the dark?
12 How did I do it?
06 the painful heart
06 Empathy
04 biography
03 waking up
03 expectations
01 fighting the lies
01 liberation
OCTOBER 2008
28 The right profession
26 Conflicting values
26 neuropsychology
22 dreams
21 Sweden
21 protecting parents
14 to open the door
13 question
12 no monster
12 LOVE
11 too much respomsibility
05 Your amazing work
04 I hate my parents
01 Ending self- betrayal
SEPTEMBER 2008
30 Saying the truth or being loyal
29 Ending the vitious circle
16 The Flyer
08 understanding
06 dream
05 Compliments
05 From Chile
03 Bodynamics?
02 It wasn't my fault
02 letter to my mother
01 why to suffer from "love"?
01 a dilemma
AUGUST 2008
29 Understanding without empathy
29 Your message
28 My son
26 a terrible tragedy
26 a dream
24 Arrogance
22 standing on my feet
21 Welcome my stolen life
21 addition
18 YouTube
17 About therapy
17 How can I change him?
14 Inspiration
14 When hope is lost
14 A film
12 hope and belief
12 What should I do?
12 my childhood
06 discovering the past
06 I am not guilty!
04 I wonder
02 Your books helped me
JULY 2008
26 Nancy's courage
24 falling apart?
24 Can I talk to you?
22 Can it be true?
20 My Son
20 thank you
20 RE: my "friends" children
20 An incredible pain
20 Dear Dr. Miller,
20 interview shonkoff
18 child abuse and brain damage
17 My "friends'" children
16 Shock Therapy is Soul Murder by Butchers
16 an excerpt for your enjoyment
16 letter to my therapist
16 a question regarding a referral
12 the wall
11 My Childhood story
11 The unsolved problem
04 Confronting Our Parents
03 helping the little bloke
03 writing you from Spain
02 "For Your Own Good"
JUNE 2008
30 Thank You
29 from a reader of "The drama of the gifted child"
28 Super Nanny, is she good or is she the best we can get?
28 moving beyond the Church's complicity
21 escaping an obsessed psychiatrist father
20 question about parents
18 question from Slovenia
18 Two Methods of Self-Help
17 I want to be a therapist in your style
13 Personality Disorders
13 Prisoners of Childhood or Drama of the Gifted Child?
12 Hello and thank you!
12 avoiding pain
11 from Newsweek, Poland
08 good news - Poland
05 romanian version?
05 panics
05 paintings
03 How can I help myself?
02 Panic Attacks and Dreams
MAY 2008
30 How to make up for mistakes?
28 Invitation to Honduras
25 Hansel e Gretel centre
24 FLDS children
24 Integrating Shadow Dynamics Handed Down From Parents: Collective Unconscious Embodied in An Epoch
23 Interview with child advocate Andrew Vachss
19 Thank you for your amazing courage
18 Dependency as adults?
18 Thank you
12 the unfelt pain
06 Alice Miller in Spanish:
05 Amstetten: About the childhood of Josef Fritzl
04 Dropping Babies
04 may I mention your web-site?
04 How to prevent a child being beaten..
01 Order of Alice Miller Books
APRIL 2008
30 born into heroin
29 training to become an enlightened witness
27 I no longer play your game.
26 Why psychoanalysis can't help effectively.
24 Gifted child question
22 do you use hypnosis?
22 Freud and repression
20 The Fourth Commandment: Threat of Murder
20 brooklyn boy reborn
19 A year later
18 what should I do?
17 never your fault
17 dreams
15 The Emperor has NO CLOTHES.
09 alternative title for 'drama of gifted child'
09 different levels of messages from the body
07 Questions to Alice Miller
03 Thank you
02 spankings
01 Beyond Words
MARCH 2008
31 Questions
29 Proposal for Italian Translation of essential portions of your Website
26 thank you!
24 "Systemic failure, cover-up, and under-reporting of abuse"
23 My Boys
22 Break The Walls Of Silence
21 Strange experience
16 Obesitas
16 Why they wanted to kill us
16 Thank you, Alice Miller
16 How do I spread your word?
12 What is the best way for me to respond as grandmother
12 nearly insane
10 the experiment in Iowa
07 a mother's deep concerns
07 keeping resolve
06 Thank you : )
03 Unwanted children?
FEBRUARY 2008
27 Thank you Alice Miller
26 Africa
26 letter to Alice Miller
25 Dealing with incomplete memories
25 Chekhov and Corporal Punishment
23 "The Body Never Lies" commentary
22 Nanny knows best
16 conference proposal
11 Writing to thank you for your work
11 Hit me like a rock.....
08 books and meetings
06 Success
05 can I really trust myself?
05 The truth is a matter of choice
04 Ending Relationship with Parents
03 Nice to meet you
01 It is worthwhile to use the FAQ list
01 Clarification for The Body Never Lies
01 Illness and death of my father
JANUARY 2008
31 A letter from Greece
31 my therapist is violent and a liar
28 Your Flyers
28 Thank You
27 Olivier Maurel to Harald Welzer
26 Thank You for Your Work
22 Regarding
21 Two Years Later
20 Tantrum
20 German Mother + Intuitive all antenae out gift = set up for adult depression
19 Thank you
18 Your paintings
16 Your Book "Saving Your Life"
16 Progress report; fairy tales; folk tales
07 Reader's Question Regarding Emotional Memory
06 thanks for giving the story of my life a meaning
05 terror and panic
05 Spiritual ideology of "negative emotions"
04 Contact
03 Thank you; 1984
DECEMBER 2007
31 How long will it take???
29 hatred and pain
28 avoiding the truth
26 I believe in Santa again
26 Global Initiative to End Corporal Punishment Web Site
25 what should I do?
24 Alice Miller quote
24 I could benefit so much
23 The Truth Is Not ( I say NOT) a Punishable Offense
23 the truth will set you free
22 Santa Claus and Deception
19 Thank You!
18 pea soup
18 Separation from the Soul
16 the drama of the gifted child
16 Letter to Alice
14 What I Know
14 A catalyst for change
12 EOL program air 12/10/ 07 with barbara rogers
07 enlightened witness revisited by science
06 Why is the Truth so Scandalous?
02 Continuation of The Journey Home to Our True Self
02 Napac
02 Detachment from Parents
01 Senator Hillary Clinton
NOVEMBER 2007
30 A note of gratitude
30 Nursing Homes
25 a letter to my father
23 the danger of AA
22 what about parts of parenting that go right?
22 Korean translation
21 my definition of myself
20 Manuscript on Fighting Depression
19 A request
17 parental control of sexuality
16 NYTimes.com: In Africa, Accusation of Witchcraft Leads to Abuse
11 follow-up
09 she eats me
05 Norway - a progressive country ?
03 audio
02 Finally!
OCTOBER 2007
30 Do I need to know more?
29 I am a trainee psychotherapist
28 I don't want to give up!
28 Anxiolytic Medication
26 Thank you
24 Boarding School
21 Thank you and info request
20 www.screamsfromchildhood
20 Thanks from a Replacement Child
20 thanks and request
20 Thank You Dr. Miller
17 12 points
15 Nightmares and Novels of Horror
15 An Open Letter of Gratitude
15 not giving up
15 A letter from the invisible man
14 Long Journey Indeed
13 Dangerous parents
12 Wonderful research and texts
12 Finding myself again 2
11 Aftermath
11 Trust
09 questions
09 thank you
07 An incredible pain
06 colic
03 collaboration and help
SEPTEMBER 2007
30 Bio-medical scientists score higher in Autism-Spectrum traits
29 colick and hurtful parenting
29 Eventually the Anger
29 Migraines and Fibromyalgia
29 Another unaware person
27 All child abuse causes brain damage
24 Facts and Pessimism #2
24 Facts and Pessimism #3
24 anger and rage
22 Huricane Kathrina
22 Facts and Pessimism
18 Children
18 I hate them. I'm similar to them. I love me???!!!!!
18 If you have the time - a couple of questions
12 Lost again
08 Fear
08 Emotional abuse of my stepson
07 Maria Rita Parsi
07 How to interpret this?
06 I finally listen to myself
04 From a young man in Dublin, Ireland
04 I can finally listen to myself, can feel, think and speak up
03 from lorraine
03 Translations
01 Letter for alice miller from lorraine
AUGUST 2007
29 The Trap of Pretence
29 Guilt as a Trap not a Trip
29 A Plea to Therapists
28 Thanks
28 How to get Mrs Miller's books
25 Hormonal imbalance due to fear?
25 Help for pedophiles
25 Terrifying Nightmares of Children
24 I feel imprisoned by my past
23 An incredible pain
23 Unbelievable
22 Your works on abusive parenting
22 Thank You Alice
22 Psychiatry and abuse
21 Can't you recommend me a therapist?
20 MY story
20 Question about Drama of the Gifted Chil
20 Diagnonsense
20 Potential example of the gifted child's tragedy
19 Please help!
19 Referral
18 Thank You Letter
18 No "Evil Genes"
16 Your wonderful book
15 An incredible pain
14 The fear after childbirth
12 Karma?
12 An incredible pain
12 British Journal of General Practice Article
12 Psychosomatic Symtpoms and Working Through the Pain #3
11 Karma and abuse
11 Murder of a 4yr old
10 Fear of death
07 Denial in psychoanalytic circles
07 Thank you letter
06 Birth trauma and psychedelics
06 Shaky but real
06 Questions about counseling
06 CONFUSED
05 An artist's autobiography
05 Arthritis and anger
04 After the knowledge . . what?
04 Schizophrenic families
04 Sleep disturbances
04 Is contemporary psychoanalytic thought just another wolf in sheep's clothing?
JULY 2007
31 Trust and therapy
31 To Dr. Alice Miller from longtime reader
29 Sister Behaves Like Abusive Father
27 So how do I feel what my body is telling me?
26 Creative Remembering or Just Craziness?
26 I didn't know who I was
26 Connected to myself
25 Powerless
24 My brother denies the truth
22 Dear Alice
21 Rimbaud
21 Advice for a narcissist?
20 Genital examination of girls
20 The hidden key
20 Emotional honesty - overcoming brain damage
19 Is public exposure dangerous?
19 A horrific memory came up last night!
17 Psychosomatic Symptoms and Working Through the Pain, #2
17 Psychosomatic Symptoms and Working Through the Pain, #1
14 Truth concealed causes child's suffering
14 Psychogenic hearing loss
13 Nightmares
13 Therapist in Mexico City?
13 Irrational side of our lives
12 How I help myself
11 Stuck
11 The gifted child
11 Abused abusers
10 Dangerous "friends"
10 Thank you for all that you do
09 What My Body Is Shouting About
08 The rage inside
08 My Body Is Shouting About Something
07 Letters to parents
07 Question about a therapist
06 "Diary"
05 "Diary?"
05 Never being praised as a child is very much intimidating
04 Book writing
04 Fear of achieving
01 Re: No idea how bad it may have been - Thursday June 14, 2007
01 Emotional trauma - the body knows
JUNE 2007
27 To Alice Miller in personal IMPORTANT! URGENT!!!
26 To open the eyes
20 My experience as a child victim and an adult writer
19 Vicious circles of contempt
19 Thank you
18 Governmental sponsored ultimate child abuse
18 "Therapeutic alliance", what does it actually mean?
17 Schizophrenia
17 A morbid story
16 Thomas Gordon's Parent Effectiveness Training
16 Forgiveness
15 Thank you
14 Spanking as sexual abuse
14 No idea how bad it may have been
14 Informing parents
14 Your book really touched me
12 Ferenczi's prison
09 No exercises
09 Anger and cruel behavior in Early Childhood Classrooms
08 Gratitude
08 Enlightened Witness
07 If the bible was AGAINST beating children
06 To stand up for the future
05 Anger is One of My Feelings
05 My body rebells
04 A bunch of angry letters
03 PTSD as effect of parental humiliation
03 Translating a difficult message
02 Seeing the parents as the problem
01 Ghosts from the Nursery
01 On healing
MAY 2007
31 Where are we going...
30 Born with hope
28 Wikipedia child abuse scandal
26 Nearly swept away
25 Wild flower
25 Thank You Alice For Your Encouragement
18 Awakening
16 Interview Questions
15 Question about Disownment
13 Activities in Poland
12 Forum
12 Question of a therapist
12 Sexual Abuse and Memory
09 Motherday
08 Hope
06 Thanks for the Book
04 Dear Alice Miller
04 I am tired of pretending
04 The first step to the truth
03 Children with chronic illnesses
APRIL 2007
30 Your Influence on my future practice
28 I called
26 Rage
26 Obc and internal critical voice
23 pain and consciousness
21 Rage released with an enlightened witness
21 The stolen life
21 Thank you for being my enlightened witness
20 "Bad Genes"
19 What is child abuse?
19 The killings in Virginia
18 Denying the inner child?
18 Poisoneous pedagogy in the spiritual perspective?
18 PRI Therapy
18 Good Work
18 Texas Teacher speaks up.
15 Confronting Abusers
15 Causes of depression
14 Poisonous pedagogy in Primal therapy.
13 Ignorance
12 Praise
12 Surrealism The Aftermath Of Minds Of "Abused Children"?
10 Alone in Italy
08 Is there a cure for Depression?
07 Learning to Sink Your Feet into Life!
07 Enemas
06 In Appreciation and Addition
05 Abusive childhood leads to codependence, another kind of prison
05 Alice Miller, I will forever be thankful for your research
04 The saved life
04 We are not going mad
03 My own rage scares me
MARCH 2007
23 Laughter at a child's mistreatment
20 What I would like to tell you
11 The forbidden feelings!
09 Where artist's biographies are encouraged but artist talks cause agonizing shame
09 Great Food
07 A question from Texas
06 12 step programs
06 Finding myself again
05 The need to be listened to.
FEBRUARY 2007
26 Feedback for the truth will set you free
24 Like the weather?
22 I'd like to be less angry
21 With thanks for your books
20 Feeling like shit
19 Exploitation of unmet needs
19 Questions and answers
18 Your book helps me a lot
17 Ritual Abuse - Blind Spot/Omission?
15 Thank you
15 The abandoned life
13 The angelic role model
12 Forethought and hindsight
08 To please for love
08 I never see anyone express emotions like me
07 Breaking the cycle
07 How to live
05 In pain but conscious
05 Parental responsibilty
04 Website in Portuguese
04 Like so many
02 Your emotions your friends
02 Compassionate childrearing
02 Unraveling the abuse
02 Abuse of an entire generation?
02 The Body Never Lies
JANUARY 2007
31 Getting free
30 Peace
29 "One of us"
29 Postpartum depression
27 Harm to mothers and babies
27 Early onset Alzheimers and poisonous pedagogy
26 Mental illness and "supportive families"
25 Books
25 Re: response to: Mental illness
24 Mental illness and childhood trauma vs. biology
23 It would be interesting to know
22 Healing the trauma
22 If you have a minute, thanks!
22 Confusing
20 Does Alice Miller teach or lecture in the U.S.A? In Europe?
20 your book transformed my life, seeking advice for future
19 Drama of a Gifted Child on CD?
19 Book about fighting depression
19 Thank you for your books in Poland
16 Need a help. . .
11 The fourth or the fifth commandment
09 Followup to your question
06 Brainwashing in the medical training
05 Reading The Body Never Lies
05 Living your life
03 Richard Dawkins on Saddam Hussein's execution
03 Help finding AM friendly psychologist
02 What now?
DECEMBER 2006
31 Brainwashing in the medical training
30 Unfathomable!
24 Paranoia?
23 My younger sister and brother
21 Illusions disguised as spirituality
20 The forgotten rape
18 Selling the ideas of Alice Miller
16 From Beijing again
16 Where can I share ideas?
16 Personal comment and question
15 Interview or quotations?
14 Personal question
13 Media request -- child sexual abuse
08 The overwhelm of it all
08 Teaching to hate
05 Dearest Alice, Thank you.....
03 A question
03 Painful relationship
01 Why I remain silent
01 The Fiercest Taboo
NOVEMBER 2006
28 Using the rage to understand
26 Speaking the truth
22 Deadness in the body
21 Remembering and Grieving
17 Your work
17 A case in Mexico
14 Thank you
13 Freedom and mourning
12 From Luminous Child again
12 Questioning the family
10 Teaching affiliation?
OCTOBER 2006
30 Also in Japan
30 Who will want me
29 Help please
29 Redefining Love
26 About the link "Epoch USA"
26 Freedom
26 Thank You so much!!!!!
24 I am becoming
21 Age and change
20 To find the poison is healing
20 Letter from Poland
19 How to believe I'm basically 'good' when I've made my son feel 'bad'
18 Journal for Miller studies
17 Nobel prize
16 What is corporal punishment?
12 Forgiveness was a farce
09 Youth gangs "maras" in Central America
07 The Drama. . .
01 The Truth Will Set You Free
SEPTEMBER 2006
25 Post WWII trauma?
22 It's Taken Me 50 Years to Understand
21 Emotional neglect
20 Audiocassette "Drama of the Gifted Child"
16 Permission to use the "12 points"
16 A dream on the gifted child
13 Electronic library Alice Miller
10 Some questions
08 Benign abuse?
07 News from Austria
07 Chronic muscular pain
AUGUST 2006
31 What is hatred?
30 Looking for a therapist
22 Drama of The Gifted Child
22 Blocked memories
21 The native language
20 An abused child... a hurting man
18 Repressed needs & feelings
18 Expectations
17 Helping witness
16 My painting
14 Idea after 32 years of direct experience
09 With thanks...
07 The fourth or fifth commendment?
06 I cry without reason
06 Response to letter on limit-setting
03 Prisoners of Childhood
02 Honor Thy Father & Mother
JULY 2006
30 Jesus
30 Marlon Brando
30 Using the AM painting as a tool
28 Poisonous Education
28 The age
27 Learning empathy for yourself
26 Free Lectures on Cable Access Television
24 Limit-setting
24 Grieving following therapy
24 Documentary
24 My text
23 Question about violence
22 Question about an alleged Alice Miller quote
22 How do we change the world?
19 Childhood Insight and Medication
19 An article
15 Permission Request to Use Two Articles
14 Physical abuse and poltics
12 My mother didn't believe me
12 Genes
11 Child neglect
11 Love and thanks
08 A suggestion for your next book?
08 Loneliness
05 A common misquote
04 Thank you
03 Hope amidst hopelessness?
01 Traditional moral among professionals.
JUNE 2006
30 My situation
26 More solutions????
26 "Spiritual therapist"
26 Therapist in Bologna
25 Childhood sexuality
25 Alice Miller Training...
25 The journey I travel
24 The proof
22 The suppressed rage
21 Betrayed by drugs and medication
20 Alice Miller Training
19 The system of lies
12 Origins of sadism
11 Therapy - where?
05 Which books to start?
03 Becoming human
01 Books in Spanish
MAY 2006
27 AM and parenting books
21 The book "Paths of Life"
19 Your opinion on C.G.Jung
17 Wishing to train in Psychotherapy with Children
15 A writing specifically on depression
15 Depression
14 The body will never understand
14 Why My Body Refuses to Obey the 4th Commandment
13 Buried memories & emotions
07 Oedipus Complex
07 Take seriously what you already know
05 Can men be frigid?
03 Paralyzed
01 Our body does not accept compromise
APRIL 2006
26 Harmful non-physical abuse
23 Homosexuals are not an exception
21 They deserve to be punished?
20 The most important person
18 quotes
16 A rare question I have never heard yet
15 corporal punishment
13 Please advise
13 Disappointed
10 Wall of silence
07 The freedom to feel
07 Qestion from Wikipedia
06 Yes, Life DID owe them a living
05 "How to punish children"?
03 Idolizing parents
MARCH 2006
29 Hitler and murderous rage
29 Alice Miller's paintings
28 Parents did not do their best
26 The abused child suffers
23 We must condemn the use of corporal punishment
22 The absurdity of the belief that hitting children is harmless
20 How to respond to bullying and mobbing?
20 Buddhism & Your Work
19 The causes of addiction
18 Addiction versus ADHD
15 Matriarchy?Patriarchy?
07 Trust YOUR truth
05 Forgiveness - Flight from oneself
03 MANIFESTO re Islamism the new Totalitarianism
03 Effective therapy
FEBRUARY 2006
27 Learn your own history
27 Stages of Human Growth and Development
26 Finding the truth
24 Your work for silenced children
20 question based on chapter 12 of The Body Never Lies
19 I respect my feelings more than my parents emotional needs
15 I appreciate your work and books
11 References to Alice Miller
09 Nurturing self-esteem
07 How to find an enlightened witness?
07 The Counselling Profession and Corporal Punishment
05 Corporal Punishment and Gender
05 Unconscious hatred
02 The courage to see
02 Enlightened witness reference in Lisa Carver essay
01 Hitting is not Loving
JANUARY 2006
30 Short question to Alice
30 Can a cruel upbringing be
29 Surviving Childhood Corporal Punishment
27 Lectures?
25 Treat ourselves with love
24 How children could speak if they were allowed
22 What I feel without anti-depressants
21 Our body cannot 'turn the page'
21 The Drama of "Gifted" Parents
17 Open exchange with children in Norway
16 The Silent Among Us
13 How Do I Find My Voice??
12 The suffering of children
11 Alice Miller's books in Spanish
10 Tumors are the screams of silent children
09 Antidepressants suppress your truth
09 The child has no choice
05 Relinquishing the idea of forgiveness
05 Your books helped me
01 Therapists afraid of questioning parents
DECEMBER 2005
31 The courage to see and to feel
29 The denied history of once endured mistreatment
27 The adult can try to feel
26 We pay our loyalty to our parents with our depressions
22 Thanks for epiphany!
21 Child mistreatment in the name of God
19 Listen to your client's history
18 "I can't honor you"
10 Medicalized sexualized child abuse
09 Eating Disorder
08 Your Books in other languages
06 Forgiveness is a cover
05 No longer in the trap
04 The crime of not giving protection
02 I respect every feeling
01 My life has been profoundly altered
NOVEMBER 2005
29 Project of letters to parents
26 The word « discipline » conceals the abuse of power
15 Cruel child rearing practices
14 Live my own life
09 Alice Miller is a researcher on childhood and its effects on the adult
08 Being me
07 Become yourself
06 You belong to yourself
03 My legs will not cooperate
02 Finding a way out
02 An open letter to A.R.
01 Finding a therapist
OCTOBER 2005
29 My body asked: "Why don't you trust me?"
26 The healing potential of rage and anger
25 Blindness for the crimes of parents can be found in all ethnic groups
07 Violence against children produces violent adults
05 Weight lifted off my shoulders
03 Message from Bluetigerlady
03 the body never lies
02 Message from S.
01 Message from M.
SEPTEMBER 2005
24 Message from D.
20 spanking? abuse?
19 Message from SB
18 Message from BG
18 Message from A.H.
15 A letter to Alice Miller
14 narcissistic injury and sexual identity/preference
09 The body never lies
08 Message from S.Z.
AUGUST 2005
18 your book "Die revolte des Korpers" and my therapy experiences
17 Thank you for The Body Never Lies
17 Message from T.
15 Message from J.D.
JULY 2005
27 Message from LJP
15 Message from Pamela

"And now there is no pet anymore".
Sunday January 10, 2010
Dear Alice,
To find and read your books has been one of most important things that happened to me in my life and I will never be able to thank you enough for all your work.
I am thirty years old. The only thing I remember from my childhood is fear, worry, anxiety, guilt, humiliation and a total and overwhelming lack of security. The openly violent person was my father. My mother was nice and loving to me and my elder sister, but only verbally. I remember her saying many times that us, her children, were the most important people in her life. I consider this the first big lie I had to live with for many years. Often after my fathers insulting us vulgarly and, for example, breaking every single glass or plate we had at home, she made us go and ask him for forgiveness for our bad behavior. She herself often asked us after his violent attacks on us how could you do this? or you knew how would he react, why didnt you act in a right way? I remember entering his room to ask for his forgiveness, feeling totally desperate for having act badly and with the guilt for having cause those explosions of angry almost killing me - and then he would always shout at me and call me a whore or any other vulgar word/s. Then he wouldnt talk to us for some time and the day he would decide to start, I had to act normally with him and my mother would make me hug him. She never left my father. When I tried to talk to her she said that nothing serious happened to us as no one killed you nor raped you. I know by now what Stockholm syndrome is but I dont consider it should be again me the person who is to understand and forgive. I consider that I understood and forgave enough.
My sister stays very close to my parents; she considers everything correct and is convinced she has a loving family with its ups and downs. She got married and has kids and she has usual family relationship with my parents. Since she got married my father is very nice to her; I guess he considers her now property of another man. She is part of the silence pact existing in my family. THEY ALL CONSIDER NOTHING EVER HAPPENED.
I was always ill when I was a child, mainly fever and throat infections, my scholar absenteeism was of 60%. Once I left my parents΄ house when I was 20 years old and I left the country where my family lives, I was still in touch with everyone as I was not aware of anything special have ever happened. At the age of 22 I started to have terrible joint and muscular pains. I ended up in the hospital and my tonsils were taken out. No doctor could find any reason for the pain as all my medical exams results were normal. I then started my first depression. It was considered a consequence of having these joint pains. I have been taking antidepressants for two years. I had to go back for some months to my parents home and my father, mother and sister were looking after me during this time. It seemed all very logical to me as since I was very little I have been always told you are an unhealthy child, you are very weak, you should be very careful when doing anything, like sport, because your body is weak and breakable, etc. Three years after the joint pains calmed down I started to have ulcer problem. Another stay at my parents home and two years with antidepressants were enough to calm this pain too. I occasionally went to psychiatrists to get the pills but no one ever asked me about my family. They told me I was sensitive and had depressive personality. Something I have always been told by my family.
Two years ago I had a short relationship with a man who - now I know it - treated me exactly in the same way my family did. He was apparently nice and loving and he always said, while perversely destroying me, that he was protecting me because I was an unbalanced person. I have been always told so hence the only thing I thought was that it was great I found someone who could save me from my unbalanced and depressive personality. I remember saying this to my mother and my sister and them being very glad to hear so. He left me because he didnt like the way I acted (I was protesting and getting sad when he constantly criticized me). My sister told me he was right and that I was so unbalanced and depressive that it had been my fault to have spoiled the relationship. It was all so painful that I started a therapy. And then the miracle happened. I came across an intelligent and experimented therapist specialized in gender violence and domestic abuse. All parts of puzzle fitted.
I stopped the contact with my sister a year ago, with my father six moths ago and with my mother only two months ago. I am now considered by both them and the rest of family an ungrateful and mentally ill person. They say: not only you abandoned the family, something socially inacceptable; you also abandoned your family after all what we have done for you. They say: you are a spoilt and egocentric child, a little princess you have always been, and you should remember that you have a psychological disease we have been helping you with for the past years. They say: we spent time, money and efforts on trying our best to heal you and this is how you pay us back. They say: you have enormous problems in relations with other people, problems that are pathological and even psychopathic. We both know no medication can change this, maybe only a good psychotherapy could help you.
I consider my life has gone under a Copernican revolution over the past two years as the gravity center has changed. It is being very hard right now. Things they say (by email messages I dont reply but I still read, unfortunately) are still very painful. But although emotionally I feel devastated and insecure when receiving them and I still question myself and sometimes I think that I really am mentally ill and an unimaginably evil person, I already have a strong rational reaction. I try to have a chat with myself, without being mad at me for feeling bad, and to think: well, it is normal you feel they are right after a 28 years long brainwash but now you know it is not real. Now you know the truth. It doesnt always work but I know a time will come when it will. From time to time I ask my therapist: Do you think I am mentally ill? Then we both laugh.
Dear Alice, am I correct assuming that all people in my family need to think I am mentally ill to protect themselves from invalidating their whole life? If I am the only one who spoke in the silence, is this their way to make me silent again? Is this why they just dont leave me alone? I sometimes think it looks as if they had until now a nice obedient pet, a toy they could do anything with. And now there is no pet anymore.
I am single, living in a foreign country (although I consider myself lucky for not living in the same country or town as my family) and I lost a lot of friends when I started to open my eyes. Many people, as you well say, boycott the truth. 90% of people I talked to about told me I should me more comprehensive and forgive my parents as we all commit errors. The family is the family they told me. I got used to this reaction but it as an exam for me of the kind of people I can be close to in the future. I dont share anything intimate anymore with them and I know that with the pass of time I will be further and further from them. My best friend abandoned me the same day I had my last conversation with my mother. I know she had similar problems at home so once the pain has decreased I understood this was inevitable (which doesnt mean it wasnt pathological). I consider these losses and deceptions, as well as the strong isolation I am living in, as part of my healing process, in particular, and of life, in general. I think I assumed this is how my life looks and will look like and I can handle it, although I sometimes feel lonely, sad and jealous when I see happily looking families or couples in the street. Then I cannot avoid thinking that their happiness is probably false as I dont believe in family anymore. This is sad too. But these moments of sadness or loneliness are nothing compared to suffering and sorrow I experimented before.
I has been very important to me to have started to practice martial arts one year and a half ago. Me - the weak, the unhealthy, the made of glass as my family used to make me feel running, hitting, kicking and rolling all over the place. It was at first a shocking experience. I first did self-defense classes for women my therapist recommended me. During some months I was unable to defend myself even verbally and I once got paralyzed and cried when the simulating attacker insulted me. Then one day I suddenly understood that it was normal to defend myself against an attack. I learnt what personal space is and what the real feeling is when someone crosses it without my permission. I learned to recognize fear, to shout and to feel rage when someone attacks me. Now I also take aikido classes. It benefits me with its harmony, serenity and the importance of ones perception and gravity center, but the most important for me is its philosophical part: the attitude of not being a victim but to resolve the existing problem and move forward. I dont want to consider myself a victim anymore.
Dear Alice, I mentioned Copernicus before and it is because I think your work has the same revolutionary character. My therapist says she considers the people coming out of the lie to be heroes. I think this is the semantic field we should all use with ourselves: truth, heroes, courage, reality, honesty and authenticity. I am deeply convinced the world would be different without your books.
Thank you, Alice. A
(of course you can publish my letter if you wish so)
AM: You are asking: "Am I correct assuming that all people in my family need to think I am mentally ill to protect themselves from invalidating their whole life? If I am the only one who spoke in the silence, is this their way to make me silent again? Is this why they just dont leave me alone? I sometimes think it looks as if they had until now a nice obedient pet, a toy they could do anything with. And now there is no pet anymore. " You are absolutely right. There are, however, millions of people who BELIEVE in this lie. Fortunately, you no longer do it.
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