Alice Miller, child abuse and mistreatment

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Spirituality for recovery?
Tuesday July 21, 2009


Dr. Miller,

I have written to you several times before. I must tell you that your work is absolutely brilliant. Beyond all my comprehension. I am currently reading Thou Shalt Not Be Aware. It is utterly brilliant, as are all of your books. I have not yet read your 2 latest, but I will be reading them shortly. You have put a voice to my suffering and for that, I owe you a tremendous debt of gratitude. You are a tremendous credit to the human race. I put your work up there with Newton, Einstein, DeCartes, Galileo, Da Vinci, Michelangelo and all the greats. It is a true tragedy that your work is not completely main stream and taught in the schools and universities. I have been believing this stuff for most of my life (I am currently 38 years old) and upon reading your work, I now know I have been right all along.

I have 2 questions for you. First off, when you look back at your books, is there anything today that you have found to be in need of correction or would you re-write all your books the same today as you have over the last 30 years? In other words, have you been able to objectively look at your work the last 30 years and still know with all your heart that your research is and has been completely true and accurate. Would you still put it up today against anyone else's theories, dogma or beliefs? Personally, I have found your work to be virtually flawless. Your work from 30 years ago is still as true to me today as it always has been and always will be.

Secondly, what role does spirituality play in recovery for you? At the end of For Your Own Good, your last sentence talks about the soul being indestuctible as long as we are alive. I believe in this wholeheartedly. In Thou Shalt Not Be Aware, you list several characteristics pertaining to childhood and children and your first one is : The child is always innocent. This, too, I agree with 100%.

Albert Einstein once said, "There is only one truly important question, is the Universe friendly?" I have found that the Universe is perfect and that man's adaptation of this life is utterly insane. And personally, I cannot do this work without knowing that the Universe is perfect, knows things I do not and I must trust it's plan for me is infinitely more perfect and loving than anything I could come up with using the limited human mind.

In order to recover from trauma, I have found that I had to have complete and total confidence in the perfectness of the Universe. I had to leave everything I knew and walk into the abyss. It is sometimes terrifying. Without this knowledge, how can one take this journey? I have so much more I want to write to you. This is only a small fraction. I hope to hear from you, Dr. Miller. Thank you for everything.

Blessings, TK


AM: The questions you are asking me will hopefully find their answers in my last book: Free from Lies. Here I can only give you some indications. By reading the Drama I wrote 30 years ago many people found their own feelings, until then dissociated, which opened them access to their tragic hhistories. The countless letters I received later informed me about the huge territory of suffering in childhood that almost all of us have endured and almost all of us keep DENYING over their whole lives by paying for this denial with their health. Or by letting others, mostly their own children, to pay. Hence over the 30 years I came to understand that to heal the wounds stemming from child abuse we must give up this denial by overcoming the fear of being punished again and take the risk of feeling not only the grief but also and above all the RAGE about the way we were treated in childhood. This insight allowed me to develop a therapy concept that works.
I don't use the word "spirituality" because it doesn't have any specific meaning to me, it is offen used to name very different issues that can be defined more precisely without using this word. I don't need to believe as Einstein did that the WORLD is perfect but I do make the discovery again and again that our bodies function in a marvelous way as soon as we stop to lie and to betray ourselves, as soon as we are ready to accept our truth.

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