Alice Miller, child abuse and mistreatment

APRIL 2010

MARCH 2010

FEBRUARY 2010

JANUARY 2010

DECEMBER 2009

NOVEMBER 2009

OCTOBER 2009

SEPTEMBER 2009

AUGUST 2009

JULY 2009

JUNE 2009

MAY 2009

APRIL 2009

MARCH 2009

FEBRUARY 2009

JANUARY 2009

DECEMBER 2008

NOVEMBER 2008

OCTOBER 2008

SEPTEMBER 2008

AUGUST 2008

JULY 2008

JUNE 2008

MAY 2008

APRIL 2008

MARCH 2008

FEBRUARY 2008

JANUARY 2008

DECEMBER 2007

NOVEMBER 2007

OCTOBER 2007

SEPTEMBER 2007

AUGUST 2007

JULY 2007

JUNE 2007

MAY 2007

APRIL 2007

MARCH 2007

FEBRUARY 2007

JANUARY 2007

DECEMBER 2006

NOVEMBER 2006

OCTOBER 2006

SEPTEMBER 2006

AUGUST 2006

JULY 2006

JUNE 2006

MAY 2006

APRIL 2006

MARCH 2006

FEBRUARY 2006

JANUARY 2006

DECEMBER 2005

NOVEMBER 2005

OCTOBER 2005

SEPTEMBER 2005

AUGUST 2005

JULY 2005

The sacred wars
Friday June 12, 2009




DEAR MS. MILLER -- Thank you for the kind words and for your thoughtful reply to my message. I see that you have posted my essay on ending child abuse via a spiritual revolution. Thank you for that and I hope it strengthens the hearts and raises the spirits of visitors to your site. By raising hope and inspiration we help people to act -- on their own behalf, for children and for the future. Millions of brave and loving actions -- taken one at a time -- will create this revolution. And the bravest action of all, as you have eloquently pointed out, is to feel.
We are in complete accord on the failure of Christianity and Buddhism to raise a voice against child beating and in fact all forms of abuse. How sad that the religion of love (Christianity) and awareness (Buddhism) failed to love children enough to prohibit violence toward them or develop sufficient awareness to awaken people to the truth. That kind of love and awareness must be central to the next spiritual revolution that ends the generational cycle of violence and frees our creativity to build a joyful future.
In present-day Western societies, the religion-based prohibitions that forbid protesting against parental cruelty and injustice are losing power. This is a welcome development because there is one less layer of dread for the real self to overcome. The greatest fear, though, has always been fear of the parent's (not the Deity's) rejection and violence. Violence toward children is a fundamental betrayal. Rejection of the child's real self and the demand for its conformity to the parents' needs destroys the child's trust in self and in life. The resulting isolation and despair -- and the pain of a broken heart -- are what we deny the most.
Seeing the truth of one's own betrayal and feeling (ultimately releasing and healing) the broken heart is a heroic journey. You ask, " What can be done in your opinion to overcome this fear, to enable people to give up their denial about their own cruel upbringing called education and becoming empathic parents?"
As you say, to develop empathy for their children parents must open their hearts to the pain of their own abuse. They must recognize in their own history and feel in their own bodies the pain they are creating in their children. This process then allows the natural love for their children to blossom and guide their actions and attitudes. Over the years I have assisted many parents in achieving this.
We must ask ourselves this: What will it take for millions of parents to do enough of this work to permanently awaken humanity? Currently only a few take the journey. Why? Because the pain is daunting, able therapists are few, the cost in time and money are great, and society simply doesn't encourage it. Society isn't even aware of the damage, much less the need to heal it!
This is why we need to think in terms of a worldwide movement -- a true spiritual revolution. The necessity of stopping the cycle of violence must become "common sense" to the masses. Although it may take centuries for the transformation to permanently take hold, I know that we can and will achieve it.
On my website I have published my current (and far from finished!) thoughts on how to grow a worldwide movement -- a spiritual revolution -- to end child abuse and usher in the era of "sacred and conscious parenting". I would be most grateful if you would read them and offer me your thoughts and responses. It might be exciting to envision how the work you've begun can extend far into the future. The following is reprinted from my band's website: http://www.myspace.com/tribeofeden .
LOOKING FORWARD TO YOUR THOUGHTS -- BRYAN EDEN

"THE SACRED TEACHINGS ON LOVE AND CHILDHOOD"

DEAR FRIENDS -- These notes are a work in progress. They are by no means definitive, complete or my final thoughts on the subject. They spring from my vision of ending the abuse of children around the world, thereby sparing future generations the pain of broken lives and the destructiveness​ of war, poverty and injustice. Imagine with me a worldwide movement to protect children and usher in the spirituality of Sacred Parenting. In real-world terms, what would such a movement need to take root and flourish?
John Lennon urged us to imagine a world with no more war, injustice and poverty. A world where our natural love and goodness would be free to realize humanity's universal dream of peace. This dream is written on our hearts because we are meant to achieve it. It is my profound conviction that the key to this future lay in a breakthrough in our understanding of the fundamental needs and rights of children. I hope you will join me in this quest and by imagining that world bring it closer. LOVE AND PEACE -- BRYAN EDEN

NOTES ON A REVOLUTION: THE SACRED TEACHINGS ON LOVE AND CHILDHOOD.
To mobilize and grow a worldwide movement to end child abuse and spread Sacred Parenting, the teachings involved MUST be invested with spiritual power and meaning. That is, they must be taught as sacred knowledge and proclaimed as essential both to individual happiness and our collective salvation. The revelations about children's basic rights and needs are as fundamental a shift in humanity's awareness and ability to succeed as Moses' Ten Commandments, Jesus' teachings on love and brotherhood and Buddha's doctrines of compassion and the Eightfold Path. The Sacred Teachings on Love and Childhood, offered as a path to end unnecessary suffering and ensure the victory of peace, joy and love, will reach deeply into the hearts and minds of millions who want to protect children and heal the world.

The Movement to End Child Abuse and Teach Sacred Parenting will need:
1. A vivid revelation of the nature and scope of child abuse.
2. A compassionate and clear understanding of the effects of "parenting in error" on both individuals and civilization as a whole.
3. A clear and loving understanding of the fundamental rights and needs of children.
4. The development of self-help organizations -- the Movement's "sanctuaries" -- where parents can learn "positive parenting" skills and discover how to identify and end their own abusive patterns. "Positive Parents/​Parents Anonymous/​Conscious Parenting/​Sacred Parenting".
5. To make alliances with existing religious and spiritual institutions by defining the eradication of child abuse in terms of their own values and mission. When understood in depth, the Teachings on Love and Childhood are in deep alignment with the original purpose of every religious and spiritual tradition. These teachings -- because they center on what everyone holds as most sacred, our children -- can unite humanity across all cultural, religious and political boundaries.
6. Media Presence -- Regular appearances of effective spokespeople on television and radio programs with large audiences. Establishment of Movement-​sponsored media outlets devoted to
a.raising awareness of children's fundamental needs and rights
b. educating the public about the nature of abusive attitudes and behavior
c. spreading the skills and attitudes that comprise sacred/​positive/​conscious parenting d. advising people about how to stop abusive patterns of attitude and behavior.



AM: Thank you for expounding your vision. Yes, it would be wonderful if we could initiate a powerful movement towards more awarness. In fact, by understanding the emotional needs of children we would come to understand OURSELVES too, the basis of our existence, of our own Being as responsible adults. But this is impossible without liberating the strong bitterness of the abused child we hide deeply in our bodies because of the fears of our parents. Unfortunately, ALL religions FORBID this emotional liberation, they rather allow wars, some of them even consider wars as sacred because they have never understood that feeling the legitimate rage PROTECTS us from acting out in wars and criminality. The last are organized exactly by people who DON'T feel.

Top