Alice Miller, child abuse and mistreatment

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Becoming free
Monday December 01, 2008

dear alice,thank you for replying to my question on "repairing the patient".i have been seeing my psychoanalytical psychotherapist for nearly 4 years now. He is an "attachment" therapist with lots of good qualities. for example, he reduced his price considerably, when i had financial problems looking after my young child. (I am a single parent).However, I am a grown-up, thinking, woman, with ideas of her own. In the end, I felt he discounted this, in favour of treating me as a child he could 'cure' with his theories and the process. When I decided I must start making plans to leave therapy in a few months for my own reasons, he became obstructive. he told me i was wrong in his professional opinion, that the 'process' was unfinished in his professional opinion, and that i was not ready. i felt it was acutely disappointing for my wishes and desires to be taken so lightly, as if i was an 8 year old girl who knew nothing. i said i felt it would soon be the right time, i needed to have some last serious discussions and leave, my instincts told me too. he asked me where my 'instincts' came from, and before i could answer, he told me my 'unconscious'! the implication was that my unconscious was disturbed and in no way reliable to take such actions in my own life. so thats what he thought of me after 4 years of therapy, I wondered.it is with a heavy heart that i write this. my therapist was kind and had some analytical insights, so i am sorry that leaving him has caused this problem. in the end i asked him "If you have no confidence in me" (I said this because of his seeming negativity about everything i tried to do) "why should i have any confidence in you?" he couldn't answer me.patients have a difficult task in finding the therapist they need and someone to truly hear their voice. i fear that, when it came down to it, my caring analyst, could only hear his own theories, above my words. i am still looking.with kind regards,m.

AM: If you are looking for a new therapist open the page "articles" and read the text on the top. But maybe you no longer need the help of anybody who understands less than you?


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