Alice Miller, child abuse and mistreatment

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the painful heart
Thursday November 06, 2008





Dear Ms. Miller,

Just in the past few weeks I have become acquainted with your writing, first
through _The Gifted Child_, then _The Truth Will Set You Free_ and now _Thou
Shalt Not Be Aware_, with two more on order.

After having confronted my own complicated, traumatic childhood for 35 years I
fell deeply in love, like none other, with a beautiful, creative woman who was
profoundly traumatized as a child. Four years later with struggle, she has
walked out on our truly outstanding relationship, closing herself completely
off, while my heart breaks for both of us.

I would like to make a suggested addition/change (mine in italics) to one
paragraph on page 48 of _The Truth Will Set You Free:

_ With all due respect for everything that has been said
and written about the power of love, we should never forget
that /even with another's committed love,/ good will and devout
wishing alone will not be enough to free a person to love if
that person is in a state of unremitting internal war. This desperate
conflict would not be taking place if that person's true self had
not been suppressed in childhood.

Thank you so much for all of your incredible efforts to make the world aware of
this, the most basic of human responsibilities and needs.


AM: Thank you for your letter and I wish your heart to recover soon from its pain. It is indeed not easy to save a relationship where one person wants to know much of his past and the other one not at all.

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