Saturday September 06, 2008
Dear Alice MillerI read your books from time to another, becauce I want to remain sane, and you make me feel sane.I wrote you some days ago, I don`t know if you recieved my mail. I live far out in the contryside in the midst of nature and close to the sea. Nature never lies and I feel the same about your books, they have the same healing effect as when I walk in the woods or by the sea.I want to ask you about a dream I΄ve had since I was 12-13 years old. Not so often now, I΄m 54, but still sometimes, it comes back to me, although it΄s not as terryfiing as in the beginning. I΄ts about a big tornado coming towards me. I can see it hanging down from the sky. I΄m terrified it will suck me up. I run for life and try to find something to cling to or hide in a house under a table, I΄m just so scared and alone.My analyst said it΄s focused energy. I don`t really get it. It΄s so abstract.( I don`t see her anymore.)I did some drawings of it, and while drawing I realised it was my fathers penis. I΄m sure he used me sexually somehow, I have all the symthoms of abuse. I think I was about two years old when it happened. But I still wonder about the interpretation of the dream and the meaning of it.I hope you will consider it, and tell me about your thougts.I also want to thank you most of all, because of all you have done for human beeings. You live up to the words of Christ: "He who does not hate his father and mother is me not worthy". It took me years to understand, but now I know, that it,s about becoming yourself. A pity Christ has been misused in the name of religion, when all he wanted was to set us free. I think you got it right in your book about the holy child. I think you have found the same spirit in you, bless you.You are a true soul-renovation-worker.: EF With love
AM: Thank you for saying that reading my books is like walking in the wood or on a beach. And also for the wonderful quote from the Bible. Can you give me the exact reference to this sentense of Jesus? Your dream seems to me a clear memory, a constant reminder of your most scaring situation with your parents as a child. With your fear of the big menacing penis there is no doubt that you felt threaten by the sexual abuse. Why do you go to a therapist who obviously tells you the opposite of the truth and hinders you so to open your eyes?