Alice Miller, child abuse and mistreatment

APRIL 2010

MARCH 2010

FEBRUARY 2010

JANUARY 2010

DECEMBER 2009

NOVEMBER 2009

OCTOBER 2009

SEPTEMBER 2009

AUGUST 2009

JULY 2009

JUNE 2009

MAY 2009

APRIL 2009

MARCH 2009

FEBRUARY 2009

JANUARY 2009

DECEMBER 2008

NOVEMBER 2008

OCTOBER 2008

SEPTEMBER 2008

AUGUST 2008

JULY 2008

JUNE 2008

MAY 2008

APRIL 2008

MARCH 2008

FEBRUARY 2008

JANUARY 2008

DECEMBER 2007

NOVEMBER 2007

OCTOBER 2007

SEPTEMBER 2007

AUGUST 2007

JULY 2007

JUNE 2007

MAY 2007

APRIL 2007

MARCH 2007

FEBRUARY 2007

JANUARY 2007

DECEMBER 2006

NOVEMBER 2006

OCTOBER 2006

SEPTEMBER 2006

AUGUST 2006

JULY 2006

JUNE 2006

MAY 2006

APRIL 2006

MARCH 2006

FEBRUARY 2006

JANUARY 2006

DECEMBER 2005

NOVEMBER 2005

OCTOBER 2005

SEPTEMBER 2005

AUGUST 2005

JULY 2005

Interview with child advocate Andrew Vachss
Friday May 23, 2008

Dear Alice Miller,
This May 2008, Oprah Winfried's talk with Andrew Vachss from 1993 has been posted on youtube.
Have you seen this interview?
Here is the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-CA6-RmeBY&feature=related
In this talk, Andrew Vachss confronts Oprah with her belief that anger resulting from an abusive childhood is a bad thing that one needs to overcome, and that the way to "healing" is through forgiveness. And he thoroughly questions it.
What do you think?

AM: I saw the interview. These are some of my thoughts about it: We will never be able to stop child abuse as long as we say: I put the past behind me, I don't feel anger, have forgiven and forgotten and get on with my life." This advice, given very often, never actually helps. Why? Because the endured abuse, if it is not worked out, drives the former victims to do the same with their children as long as they deny the pain and the anger, which the abuse left in their bodies. Our feelings may stay for a long time repressed, unconscious, but they wake up when we become parents. Advice like the one given by Oprah wants to help people who suffer by saying: "Enjoy your life, you should no longer suffer because of things that happened so long ago". We must know that this advice works at the expense of the next generation, supporting our blindness. Feeling and understanding the causes of our old pain does not mean that the pain and the anger will stay with us forever. Quite the opposite is true. The felt anger and pain disappear with time and enable us to love our children. It is the UNFELT, avoided and denied pain, stored up in our bodies, that drive us to repeat what have been done to us and to say: "Spanking didn't harm me, it was good for me and will thus also not harm my children." People who talk like this go on writing books on how we should spank babies early enough so that they learn to behave and NEVER EVER realize what had been done to them so early in their lives.

Top