Alice Miller, child abuse and mistreatment

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Writing to thank you for your work
Monday February 11, 2008

Dear Ms. Miller,

Your book the Drama of the Gifted Child was an essential part of my healing many years ago, along with the amazing benefit of therapy from a talented woman in Washington DC during the mid-80s. She is the one who after some time in therapy with her gave me your book to read. It was so completely expressive of my relationship with my Mom. My therapist in DC was (and I presume is) a very talented therapist. I don’t know how to express it but she showed me a profound type of love by the way that she dealt with me and the deep thought she gave to our interactions. This was the same feeling I got from reading your book. It was as if in my mind she dealt with me in every way that you would have or would have trained her to do. It was a hard time over the three years, but a time of great healing and an experience of real love.

In addition to my relationship with my mother, which was so classically in line with the narratives in Drama of the Gifted Child, I had a father who spanked me. My own son is now 14, and in my whole life with him I never felt the desire to hit him (and haven’t). My wife and I have always used our words and encouraged him to do the same. He is a sensitive and highly perceptive child, as was I.

There are not many people in my life that I have met or have come to know through their writings who have affected me as much as you, and before you are gone from this earth (as we all will someday be) I wanted to express to you my admiration and deep thanks. I believe you are one of those few people who have expressed and expounded on what is with no doubt in my mind an Absolute Truth, which everyone on this earth should come to know.

Respectfully yours, K.

AM: Thank you so much for your warm letter, I am so glad that you had never the desire to hit your child. This certainly was the result of your effective therapy and gave your child the good start for his life. Unfortunately, therapists like this woman are rather rare.

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