I believe in Santa again
Wednesday December 26, 2007
My name is M., I am 28 and I write to you from Romania. I intend to be brief and tell you I feel the need to get in contact with you because I have just read your book "The Body Never Lies" and it finally helped me to understand what I went through. I say "finally" because it is not the first time I hear about some ideas from your book. I see a therapist for almost two years and she familiarized me with some of your ideas. It was only last week, before our last meeting, when, staying in the waiting room, I noticed your book on the table. I read a few pages at that time and the next day I bought it. It is amazing how happy it makes me feel. I have to admit that I have already started the process of discovering my real person, my real emotions and feelings. Sometimes I cannot belive there went 28 years of my life and I didn't know who I am. I don't intend to tell you my story here. I will tell you only that I am one of the extremely confussed and frightened child who accused herself of her parents abuses (I was not physically abused, but psychologically tormented by my mother's behaviour and ignored by my father). I have never thought it is possible for me not to love my mother, actually I was 100% sure I was the one who loved her the most in this world. And this until a few days ago when I understood from your book that I couldn't love someone I was afraid of. I felt a kind of releaf when I realized it was not my duty to help her, to love her or even to visit her.
Anyway, my situation is very complex, as you imagine I could talk about it hours and hours. The main idea of my letter is that I finished the book and I feel very happy. You helped me get in touch for the first time with the frightened child I have inside and tell her: "You passed alone through all these horrible things, but you're not alone anymore, because now you have me". I cannot describe the sensation I had, as I haven't get fully familiarized with freely expressing my emotions, but it was something new I have never felt before. You helped Santa Clause to bring the most important present to the child I am.
I wish you a Marry Christmas, a Hapy New Year and all the best!
Yours Sincerely, M.
AM: You got it! Thank you so much for your letter. It shows that a book CAN help to understand oneself and to begin to love oneself. By understanding that you can't love anybody whom you fear, you made already a big progress in your youth that will save your whole life. This discovery will help you to avoid much unnecessary suffering, much effort to love where it is impossible and self-destructive. I needed many more years to understand that. And as you see on this site, so many people try and try to succeed in respecting a law that is based on a lie.