Alice Miller, child abuse and mistreatment

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colick and hurtful parenting
Saturday September 29, 2007

Dear Ms. Miller,

I have been reading your books and they have been a source of much liberation for me, thank you.

My first child just turned one year old and becoming a mother and wanting to be the best version of myself for my son is what started me on this journey. I have been practicing attachment parenting since his birth and I am so thankful that I have achieved this awareness before I unconsciously did him serious damage.

My mother said I was a very colicky baby, I could cry for hours and hours. I am wondering about your thoughts on what "colick" actually is. I feel that it is what they call it when they don't know why a baby is crying. I think it is what happens when a baby is denied the love and connection with her mother. Do you think colick has anything to do with an unresponsive mother ignoring the emotional needs of her baby and the baby's awareness of this?

Again, thank you so much for your courage and work.

Sincerely, A. R.

AM: Yes, of course, colick is a name for the child's reaction to the lack of love and the refusal of communication, to cruel behavior of parents who talk about "colicks" instead of taking their child in their arms and soothe her pain. It is good for you and for your child that you could understand that.

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