Alice Miller, child abuse and mistreatment

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Migraines and Fibromyalgia
Saturday September 29, 2007

Dear Ms. Alice Miller,

I cannot tell you enough how grateful I am that I had the privilege of reading your book "The Body Never Lies". I admire you for your bravery and courage to take on this battle against society. It has given me strength and motivation to face my fears.

I'm a 40 year old woman who was sexually, physically and psychologically abused by my father. For the past 20 years I have gone to priests, preachers, psychiatrist, psychologist, sexologists and counselors. I only need two more classes to finish my degree in psychology. BUT, it wasn't until last year that I signed up for a self-esteem course for women given by the town that I live in that I truly started to end the denial I was living in. Here is where I finally found the enlightened witness that I needed. I have now been, for the first time in my life, actually getting to the core of my problem. It is hard work, but well worth it.

You can't imagine what a relief it was for me to read that "forgiveness has never had a healing effect". I finally truly understood through your words that I DON"T have to forgive!!!! This is completely opposite what I was told I must do to get over my past. It was something that deep in the core of my soul I knew was not right for me, but I thought well if all these experts say this it must be true. Thanks for opening my eyes and letting me realize that I should have always listened to my body. I feel is as if my body has let out a big sigh of relief, someone understands me!

Although I feel better each day and I'm out of the hole I was in, I do still have to battle physical pain. In the past year my body pains from fibromyalgia and migraines have greatly lessened, but they have not gone away.Although I feel better each day and I'm out of the hole I was in, I do still have to battle physical pain. In the past year my body pains from fibromyalgia and migraines have greatly lessened, but they have not gone away. I also have a sharp stabbing sensation in my sternum that they can't seem to find any causes for it. Deep down I believe that I can cure myself once I completely rid myself of all the poison from my past that has been slowly killing me. I guess my question to you (as an authority figure on this subject and I person I highly respect) is if it is possible for the physical pain and deterioration of my body to be cured? This is very important for me to know because I don't want to have false expectations if it is something I should just learn to live with.

I greatly appreciated you taking the time to read my letter and would be forever grateful to recieve an answer from you.

Thanks from the bottom of my heart, T.

AM: You write: “Although I feel better each day and I'm out of the hole I was in, I do still have to battle physical pain. In the past year my body pains from fibromyalgia and migraines have greatly lessened, but they have not gone away.” Why don't you trust your body that it can do more if you don't leave the right path you have dared to find? The pains may tell you that there is still much more cruelty you had to endure that you will have to face. You need time for doing this. One year might be not enough to fathom what you had to suffer over so many years. But I don't doubt that you will succeed to live without corporal pain once you give up fully the denial. Be patient, it takes time, sometimes much time. Fibromyalgia is a very cruel illness, as cruel as your parents' emotional cruelty that you may be afraid to see and feel since your earliest childhood.

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