Alice Miller, child abuse and mistreatment

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Maria Rita Parsi
Friday September 07, 2007

Dear Alice,

Could you please spend some words on your forum about grandfathers and grandmothers. I have some friends who have terrible parents and they admit this but say also that their grandparents were very lovely to them. I wonder how it could be possible? Maybe others reading your forum wonder the same.

Best regards, S.G.

PS. Sorry that I again write about Maria Rita Parsi (Italy) but I would like to understand better so please be kind enough dedicate some of your
time to read my translation and say me what you thing about her - I will be very gratefull if you or Barbara will answer me.

AM: Thank you for your translation of the ideas of Maria Rita Parsi. I am not sure if I understand them well, but I have the impression that the notion of a "harmful love" still conceals and disguises the simple but very painful and scary fact of abuse. I see the betrayal on the side of the abuser and the illusion of love on the side of the child. To me, real love is never harmful and abuse is never love.
Concerning grandparents I don't like to make general statements. If I don't know the specific family situation I prefer not to make any judgments.

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