Alice Miller, child abuse and mistreatment

APRIL 2010

MARCH 2010

FEBRUARY 2010

JANUARY 2010

DECEMBER 2009

NOVEMBER 2009

OCTOBER 2009

SEPTEMBER 2009

AUGUST 2009

JULY 2009

JUNE 2009

MAY 2009

APRIL 2009

MARCH 2009

FEBRUARY 2009

JANUARY 2009

DECEMBER 2008

NOVEMBER 2008

OCTOBER 2008

SEPTEMBER 2008

AUGUST 2008

JULY 2008

JUNE 2008

MAY 2008

APRIL 2008

MARCH 2008

FEBRUARY 2008

JANUARY 2008

DECEMBER 2007

NOVEMBER 2007

OCTOBER 2007

SEPTEMBER 2007

AUGUST 2007

JULY 2007

JUNE 2007

MAY 2007

APRIL 2007

MARCH 2007

FEBRUARY 2007

JANUARY 2007

DECEMBER 2006

NOVEMBER 2006

OCTOBER 2006

SEPTEMBER 2006

AUGUST 2006

JULY 2006

JUNE 2006

MAY 2006

APRIL 2006

MARCH 2006

FEBRUARY 2006

JANUARY 2006

DECEMBER 2005

NOVEMBER 2005

OCTOBER 2005

SEPTEMBER 2005

AUGUST 2005

JULY 2005

Thank You Alice
Wednesday August 22, 2007

Dear Alice,

I’m writing to thank you for, and congratulate you on your work. I have read both “The Drama of the Gifted Child” and “The Body Never Lies”. They both helped me tremendously. Thank you for your insight, your dedication, perseverance and courage. I wrote a dialogue to my parents and it was pretty shocking. In it I hated them and despised them. I wanted them dead and I wanted to pull the trigger. It was sobering, shocking, and yet I said to myself “Yeah, it’s true” as I wrote “I was an abused child. They never loved me. They still don’t love me. They don’t even know me, or care to know me.” I was neglected, ignored, threatened, humiliated, tormented, mocked, exploited, emasculated, and made to think that I was socially inept. And all this lay beneath the guise of “Oh my childhood wasn’t so bad.” So why did I cry so much when I wrote “I just wanted to be with you. I just wanted you to see me. Just once.” They both had next to zero self esteem and I see now that I was their parent, I gave unconditionally to them hoping someday they’d see me. It’s no wonder my dealings with them are only out of guilt and “social obligations.”

At the time I thought this example funny, but now it makes me very sad: After 10 years as an engineer (my job) in the semiconductor industry my mom said to me “you’re in quality control.” I said, “No, mom I do …” After a few minutes of explaining what I actually do she looked me in the eye and responded “so you’re in quality control.” I didn’t know how to respond. Did she not hear me? Not listen? Not care? Is she dumb? Am I invisible? Is anyone there? What the hell is going on? How can this be? She didn’t see me. She didn’t want to understand. She nullified my existence. I might as well not have been there. A doll that did what she wanted would be better – a doll with strings she could pull. What I feel now about it is almost unbearable. A little boy could not have survived feeling like that every day as I most assuredly did. Thank you for explaining that to me. Thank you for your great gift to society.

Sincerely, G., MN USA

AM: Thank you for your moving letter. It is almost unbearable for a child not to be seen, not to be listened to; he must deny this knowledge. Most people continue it for their whole lives. But you decided to feel the pain, and it is good for you. Now, nobody can hurt you in this way again because YOU listen to yourself. Congratulations.

Top