Alice Miller, child abuse and mistreatment

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Emotional trauma - the body knows
Sunday July 01, 2007

Dr. Miller -

I heard your books mentioned on the "New Life" radio series w/Steve Arterburn. As I've looked through the description of your books, I'm excited to read them.

My question is about the body. There are times when my bodys know that something is amiss in my life, as it has a severe reaction and that happened recently. I'm unable to articulate what the problem is when these things happen. An old flame from high school (I'm 48) came back into my life and I literally was sick after our visit and felt as if I had the flu the next day. On the third day, my body was sore, but I was okay. I have a fear reaction to him and have worked through to not being as afraid of him, yet I know I was reacting to him and couldn't discern why. I have since found out that he is in serious denial about his personal life and his charming (all smiles) demeanor never wavered during that visit and subsequent visits. This behavior is much like my mom's the during the entire time I was growing up and my dad was physically abusive to me. Her explanation later was that she was afraid of what he would do to her if she intervened. The old flame had a habit of walking into my life (back in high school), being very charming and then w/no explanation would get mad at me and walk away. His explanation for his behavior then had to do w/what was going on in his mind at the time and yet he blamed on me and never accepted responsibility. Every time I have a physical reaction to someone I'm very troubled by it and yet I don't understand what's going on.

After writing this all down, I'm assuming that all this has to do w/the physical, mental and emotional abuse I suffered as a child. I'm hoping that by reading your books, I will at least begin to understand these patterns. I have never even heard any of these issues discussed and am thrilled to find there is someone who has studied this - I've felt like a freak that I have reactions to people/places/things and don't know why.

Best regards, V. C.

AM: I hope my books will help, as you bring so much curiosity and openness that they need to be understood.

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