Alice Miller, child abuse and mistreatment

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No idea how bad it may have been
Thursday June 14, 2007

Hello Alice

I've been reading up a fair bit on your website and am wondering to what extent I was abused as a child. Biologically I'm 52 years old but emotionally & mentally I'm much younger. I was informed by a 'psychic' reader/healer that loving others as I'd done had stunted my 'growth' only at the time I was told this I didn't understand what she meant.

I have just finished reading your book The Body Never Lies and also read a while back The Drama of the Gifted Child. What made the biggest impression on me was the chapter - "In Search of the True Self". I started to get very angry toward my mother (and luckily for me she lives in a different country) for the pain I went through - and I have no doubt she went through as much herself but unfortunately her parenting methods were influenced by her own upbringing - never thinking to question it.

I would like to do some research in this area to understand it all so much better and heal from it. It will probably take me the rest of my life but I'm okay with that.

At present I'm simply a switchboard operator for a private registered charity which is also a private registered hospital that help parents become confident in their parenting abilities. The age range we look after is 0 - 6 years. I don't have any child health qualifications or any medical background at all but have been fascinated by the psychology side of things since I had a nervous breakdown at the same time my 20 year marriage broke up 8 years ago.

I'm still not sure what I want to do with the rest of my life but psychology (preferably child psychology) and reiki are 2 ideas that keep popping into my mind. I've never really gone with the idea of total forgiveness toward my abusers and to this day feel internal anger when I think of having to forgive them for what they did to me.

I hope this letter isn't too long winded for you.

Thankyou for your time.

Regards, J. M.

AM: Why do you think that you have to forgive your parents? And what do you expect from doing this?

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