Alice Miller, child abuse and mistreatment

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Great Food
Friday March 09, 2007

Dear Mrs Miller,
I am hungry for your consoling comments on the readersmail.
It is great food!
Your indefatigable and non-stop siding with the suffring child is fantastic and means a big support to me.
Again and again I find in your new comments the confirmation for the rightness of my feeelings of disgust for my upbringing.
It is like searching for arguments that I am right to put the cause of my sufferings later in my life untill now, where they belong.
Your comments are important to me because there is still something inside me that is constantly fighting against my (thanks to you) new gained insight that I was mistreated by my parents and that they are to blame for that.
In my letter from 18 december 2006 I tried to describe the character of this mistreatment.
I realise it is the fourth command, the public moral and the fear of the little boy that is obstructing me.
I hope that one day I can side completely with the little child inside me as you do in your comments.
Thank you so much for your work. W.

AM: Thank you for your honest and thoughtful letter. You wrote: I realise it is the fourth command, the public moral and the fear of the little boy that is obstructing me.
I wrote 3 years ago a whole book to show the power of the 4th commandment and the public moral that forbid us to recognize the cruelty of our upbringing. But I do think that the last factor you mention above - the fear of the spanked child - is the most powerful obstruction to the truth. It can be even the fear of a small baby that we carry on in us sometimes for the whole life that hinders us to admit the truth about our parents. Because, with only few exceptions, our parents were not looking for the truth, they were looking for power, which they obtained thanks to our blindness. Thus most people have good reasons to be scared by the suggestion that looking at their parents can help them with their health problems. But if they try and see their symptoms disappear they don't need to become convinced, they know.
However, these are rare exceptions. Almost all people on this planet think that children need to be smacked and to become obedient. They don't know what they pay for this ignorance.

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