Alice Miller, child abuse and mistreatment

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Getting free
Wednesday January 31, 2007

I am writing to what I feel is the only place I will be heard. Since reading Alivce Miller's work I have become aware of how damaged I have been by my childhood. I say I have become aware but of course its a very dim awareness but its real and , for the first time in my life, I am also aware that there is nowhwere to go in this culture with these feelings. My parents have a very deep interest in denying this and my twin brother listens but manages to evade the issue and, I now realsie, has become submerged in a woolly religious thinking which I believe is a way of numbing his pain. More pressingly, I am involved in what I hoped was a supportive relationship but I now feel that this person does not want to hear what I have to say about myself and wants the 'well adjusted' self I have tried to pretent to be. I also feel that I have allowed myself to be exploited in this relationship and my attemts to assert what I want are not heard but nor are they openly rejected - its like my childhood: i am being placated rathjet than listened to. Somehow, although I feel entirlely alone I do not feel unable to cope AS LONG AS I KEEP AWAY FROM THE LIES WHICH SURROUND ME. That is what my body is telling me: that I must escape to be with my damaged child. But there is no language or cultural space which affirms this need. I'll find a way but I just really needed to share this with you.
JM

AM: You write: I do not feel unable to cope AS LONG AS I KEEP AWAY FROM THE LIES WHICH SURROUND ME. That is what my body is telling me: that I must escape to be with my damaged child. But there is no language or cultural space which affirms this need. I'll find a way but I just really needed to share this with you. You are right: there are not many who affirm the need for the truth. But if you dare to carefully look at everybody's story: It is always the LIE that makes them ill. And the body always rebels.

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