Alice Miller, child abuse and mistreatment

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"One of us"
Monday January 29, 2007

Dear Alice, I just read "THE BODY NEVER LIES," and "THE DRAMA." I was astonished at how these books described in detail my life and just where I am stuck in my mental madness. Thank You so much for sharing your views of the causes and effects of child abuse. You answered so many questions I have asked myself so many times this last few months, you were God sent. I knew right off the bat you were "one of us." I am a 43 year old woman, I have suffered with Bulimia and
anorexia for twenty years. I grew up with an abusive mother who really had no use for children other than what they could do for her around the house, my father left her and us four children when I was
three. I had an abusive step father and I was molested several times growing up. I went to therapy last year for the first time in my life. I never knew there were other people in this world who had the exact same thoughts raging through their minds all day long and not knowing where they were coming from. I love my therapist who is "One of us," he just started his practice two years ago, he is 50 years old. My problem is he and I are so alike in that we both love people and enjoy analyzing everything and my sessions were being spent on spending way too much time talking about his life. His therapy beliefs are exactly the same as I see yours, (he recommends your books to his clients), he hit on a lot of the same areas as you talk about, but I was never able to get to my feelings about my childhood and my therapy was running dry for me because of all the rabbit trailing on non productive conversations, his vacation trips, fishing trips, etc. Being new to therapy I had a hard time opening up and trusting him at first and he was trying to get me to feel comfortable, but I think there was way too much time being used for his stories. Your book THE DRAMA talks about being careful of the therapist using you for his unmet needs. I have taken a leave from therapy to sort this out. Do you think this can be worked out between him and I or do I search for another therapist? I am not good at confrontation, but feel comfortable and trust him enough to talk to him about it if I knew what to say. I am going through a very hard time right now as my Mothers husband just died and I play the "Good Daughter" role and am the only one of my four siblings who have contact with her, I want to know what book you would recommend next for me, I would like to have a relationship with my Mother but I get sick to my stomach every time I have contact with her, (she lives close by). I understand after reading your two books what this sick feeling is now, I think I need to get back into therapy and work through these "feelings" of childhood. Should I go back to this same therapist and what book do you recommend next? Thank you for sharing this life saving information in your books! M.

AM: I hope you will find the answers in my recent articles on this wbsite, above all in the FAQ list. You are on the best path to open your eyes. Trust your feelings.

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