Alice Miller, child abuse and mistreatment

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Peace
Tuesday January 30, 2007

dear ms miller

i am a 26 yr old woman in south africa of indian descent. i have read many of ur books n refer to them regularly. i am the single mom of a two year old, whose vitality i try to preserve, n whose spontaniety i try to encourage in attempt not t repeat the unfair treatment i suffered, however the father of the child also sees him regularly. he has no interest in my beliefs, n knowing him as i do, he seeks to control n indoctrinate my son at every turn. should i continue to allow him access which according to s.a. law i can deny, since he pays no maintainance, or will my son be cheated out of theexperience of his father and resent me for making this decision for him?
please do advise.
also, the canadian serial killer: i'm sure he must have had a terrible childhood. if only the media attention could manifest into something more, like an interest in the real reasons people do such things, rather than a mere show of the grotesque for the sake of entertainment.
i once went on to a website about serial killers after reading your work on jurgen barscht, and it was so angering, to discover that the fbi's criteria for identifying serial killers, is bed wetting, and prevalent day dreaming!!!
how very sad, that there is so little understanding of the child's reality!

thankyou, n keep up ur amazing work, a. d.

AM: You write: ”The father of the child also sees him regularly. he has no interest in my beliefs, n knowing him as i do, he seeks to control n indoctrinate my son at every turn. should i continue to allow him access which according to s.a. law i can deny, since he pays no maintainance, or will my son be cheated out of the experience of his father and resent me for making this decision for him?" What is more important to you: to save your child`s future and character or not to be sure that he will not resent you for making this decision? And are you shure that he will not resent you for having delivered him to a father "controling and indoctrinating him at every turn"?

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