Alice Miller, child abuse and mistreatment

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Healing the trauma
Monday January 22, 2007

Dear Alice

Thank you for your writing. It certainly have brought me on the right path, over and over.

I struggle alot with the consequences of me projecting my childhood traumas into my grown
life, creating new traumas. ( I am 34 )
After a period of twelve years with a lot of anxiety, revealing, and therapy, I live with severe pain on a daily basis, an the feelings are very deep and strong, it is like a energytumor.
My experience is that the closer I come to the original trauma, the more and faster I put my self into similar traumas as an adult, with other people. I cant reveale my true emotions in these ordinary situasions, feeling and behaving like a helpless, unwanted child, and that is the biggest problem for me. I still have to repress these feelings, and the prize is so high by doing so. I often choose to isolate instead. And I worry about what people think, who has witnessed my anxiety and weird behavior, and what they can do to me . Sometimes I feel I have created new traumas to last a lifetime. My question is; Do I heal all, by healing the childhood trauma?

Thank you very much

love, L.

AM: Probably there was not one trauma, but a long history of pain that you don't mention here. But if you dare to FEEL this pain, already by knowing it, you can try to resolve the old trauma in the PRESENT time, by responding in another way than the agonized child, by defending yourself. You are now an adult and can try without taking the risk of dying. At the same time the old wounds can heal.

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