Alice Miller, child abuse and mistreatment

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Thank you for your books in Poland
Friday January 19, 2007

Dear Alice

I am 28 years and I live near to Warsaw in Poland.

When I gave a birth almost 2 years ago I started thinking that something is wrong with me. I was not able to kiss my own child, I couldn't touch him. I was looking at my husband who felt in love in our child. I started wondering how this is possible, that I am a mother of this child and I am so cold. Why I cannot kiss my own child? Why? What is wrong with me…

Also at the same time I observed that I couldn't bear greeting with my father.
His touch was awful. I was terrified about my feelings.
Then I heard about a woman who can see your aura, energy.
I visit her. She told me that I was sexual abused by my own father in childhood.
It’s strange but I felt a big relieve.

She gave me a missing puzzle to my life.
Now I understand why I have problem with eating.
Why I had “something” on my vulvas.
Why my mother didn’t treat me as a daughter.

This is very complicated.

I just wanted to thank you for your books.
Their really helped me. Here in Poland sexual harassment or any type of abuses are taboo subjects. Your books allow me to understand better my problems and accept my feelings.
I am really thankful for your thoughts and explanation.

All smiles for you!:-)

With regards, I.

ps. please accept my apologies for my language, but you know, nobody is perfect:-)

AM: You think it is strange that you felt a big relieve when the woman told you that you were sexually abused by your father. It is not at all strange. Your denial didn't allow you to feel the normal reactions to the abuse: the sorrow and the rage; you couldn't understand their meaning. Like you couldn't understand your abnormal rejection of your first newborn. But he gave you the key: by rejecting him you rejected actually your father. The woman gave you the information, which liberates you from the doubt. The taboo is not only universal in Poland; it is everywhere trying to silence the victims. But some of them, like you, begin to realize that they have to pay a high price for that denial. And they refuse to pay it if they want to heal. I wish you the courage that you need to stay with your truth, to stay on the side of the exploited little child you once were - and to save your health.

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